The home: its work and influenceGilman, Charlotte Perkins
General
The home: its work and influence
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins
Home
Here no free-handed cordial greeting keeps the visitor to dinner--the
dinner where the plates are named and numbered and the caterer ready
with due complement of each expensive dish. Hospitality must blush and
apologise--"I'm sorry, but you must excuse me, I have to dress for
dinner!" and "Why, of course! I forgot it was so late!--dear me! the
Jenkinses will have come before me if I don't hurry home!" On what
ground, then, is that dinner given--why are the Jenkinses asked that
night? If not the once sacred spirit of hospitality, is it the still
sacred spirit of friendship?
Are the people we so expensively and elaborately entertain--and who so
carefully retaliate, card for card, _plat_ for _plat_ and dollar for
dollar--are these the people whom we love? Among our many guests is an
occasional friend. The occasional friend we entreat to come and see us
_when we are not entertaining_!
Friendships are the fruit of true personal expression, the drawing
together that follows recognition, the manifest kinships of the
outspoken soul. In friendship we discriminate, we particularise, we
enjoy the touch and interchange of like characteristics, the gentle
stimulus of a degree of unlikeness. Friendship comes naturally,
spontaneously, along lines of true expression in work, of a casual
propinquity that gives rein to the unforced thought. More friendships
are formed in the prolonged association of school-life or business
life, in the intimacy of a journey together or a summer's camping, than
ever grew in a lonely lifetime of crowded receptions. Friendship may
coexist with entertainment, may even thrive in spite of it, but is
neither cause nor result of that strange process.
What, then, is "entertainment," to which the home is sacrificed so
utterly--which is no part of fatherhood, motherhood, or childhood, of
hospitality or friendship?
On what line of social evolution may we trace the growth of this
amazing phenomenon; this constant gathering together of many people to
eat when they are not hungry, dance when they are not merry, talk when
they have nothing to say, and sit about so bored by their absurd
position that the hostess must needs hire all manner of paid performers
wherewith to "entertain" them?
Here is the explanation: humanity is a relation. It is not merely a
number of human beings, like a number of grains of sand. The human
being, to be really human, must be associated in various forms; grouped
together in the interchange of function. The family relation, as we
have seen, does not in itself constitute humanity; human relations are
larger.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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