It is true enough, of course, that marriage was usually a matter of
contract between the fathers or guardians of the young pair, and not the
consequence of affection between the youth and maiden; and this it is
which we see in the comedies of Plautus and Terence, who copied Greek
originals. Very often the fathers agreed to a marriage between their
children; sometimes the arrangements were made by a woman (προμνηστρία)
acquainted with the circumstances of the citizens’ families, who made a
kind of business of arranging marriages. An important point was equality
of fortune; of course, both parties had to be full citizens, but degrees
of relationship do not seem to have been any hindrance. The girl’s
consent was not asked at all; it was a matter of course that she should
accept the husband chosen by her parents, and, as she had no other male
acquaintances, objections can very seldom have been made. Generally she
was only acquainted with the husband destined for her by seeing him
hastily on her walks or at festivals. The destined bridegroom is more
likely to have made objections if the appointed bride did not please
him; yet here, too, as a rule, the father could have his way, since his
son was entirely in his power, unless it so happened that he earned his
own living by any profession, which was seldom the case among the better
classes. The fathers or guardians then concluded the contract of
engagement, in which the bride’s dowry was fixed and special
arrangements made for community of goods, return of the dowry in case of
a divorce, etc. The Homeric custom, by which it was the bridegroom who
brought gifts in order to win a bride, while the father gave his
daughter to the one who promised the richest bridal presents, had early
fallen into disuse, and probably even in the heroic period it was only
customary among noble families. In the historic period a dowry was
regarded as an indispensable basis for marriage: so much so that
daughters or sisters of poor citizens were often endowed at the expense
of generous friends, or poor orphan girls by their guardians; sometimes
the State even gave a dowry to the daughters of citizens who had
deserved well of their country. The engagement itself was, as a rule, a
legal act, which followed the private agreement between the fathers, and
was considered an essential preliminary to a legal marriage; it was not,
however, a general custom to celebrate this act in a social manner by a
banquet. As is usual in southern countries, the girls married very
young, sometimes even at the age of fifteen, or earlier; but the period
between their sixteenth and twentieth years was probably the usual one
for marriage. There seems to have been no distinct limit of age for men,
but probably the years between twenty and thirty were those in which
most of them entered the married state. We do not know how long a period
usually elapsed between the engagement and the marriage; probably there
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