Domestic fiction; Families -- Fiction; Sex role -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
The coat caught her eye again, with its basilisk fascination. She
sighed and stepped into the store to ask to see it again, although she
knew it was as far out of her reach as a diamond tiara. To handle its
soft richness made her sick with desire, but she couldn’t keep away
from it when she was downtown.
Her moving away startled Lester from his horrified gaze on nothingness,
and he moved on with a jerky, galvanized gait like a man walking for
the first time after a sickness.
He had lost his job. He had been fired. At the end of the month there
would be no money at all to keep things going, not even the little they
had always had.
Was it the earth he was treading, solid earth? It seemed to sway up and
down under him till he was giddy. He _was_ giddy. He was going to faint
away. Oh, that would be the last disgrace. To faint away on the street
because he had lost his job. The world began to whirl around before his
eyes, to turn black. He caught at a tree.
For an instant his eyes were blurred, his ears rang loudly; and then
with racking pains, consciousness began to come back to him. He still
stood there, his arm still flung around the tree. He had not fainted.
In the pause while he fought inwardly for strength to go on, when every
step seemed to plunge him more deeply into the black pit of despair, he
was conscious of a steady voice, saying something in his ear--or was it
inside his head? The street was quite empty. It must be in his head.
How plainly he heard it--another one of those tags of poetry which
haunted him....
“But make no sojourn in thy outgoing,
For haply it may be
That when thy feet return at evening
Death shall come in with thee.”
At once it was as though strong wine had been held to his lips, as
though he had drunk a great draught of vigor. His eye cleared, his
heart leaped up, he started forward with a quick firm step.
“When thy feet return at evening
Death shall come in with thee.”
There was no need to despair. He was not helplessly trapped. There was
a way out. A glorious way! The best way all around. The rightness of it
blazed on him from every point as he hurried up the street. It meant
for the children that at last he would be able to give them money, real
money, just like any father. There would be not only the ten thousand
dollars from his insurance policy but five thousand at least for the
house and lot. He had been offered that the other day. Actual cash. And
not only actual cash, but emancipation from the blighting influence of
a futile and despised father.
The children didn’t despise him yet, but they would soon, of course.
Everybody did. And Eva never lost a chance to bring home to them with
silent bitterness the fact of their father’s utter worthlessness. Not
that he blamed her, poor ambitious Eva, caught so young by the senses,
and rewarded by such a blank as he!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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