“Now comes puberty. I consider the starting point of my later neurosis the fact that I cared for contact only with persons who could offer me some sexual satisfaction and that even as a child. During puberty this peculiarity showed even more markedly. For a time I preserved my platonic admiration of women older than myself. Young girls were still repulsive to me until I fell passionately in love with one. I followed that little one for years like a shadow, but in spite of the encouragement she gave me I could not bring myself to speak to her. When I finally did so, I saw in a flash the reason for my remarkable hesitation, I did not say what I started to say, the whole charm was gone in an instant,—she seemed to me common and inferior,—although my objective judgment at other times told me precisely the reverse. In short, my affection reawakened in its earlier intensity only some time after I recovered from the shock of my personal acquaintance with her. At that time I became very friendly with a certain colleague, Joseph Z. The tie that linked us was that very bewitching dark girl. He also was in love with her (one would have thought that this would have broken our friendship). We never tired admiring her charms between us and our friendship came to an end only when I discovered that he was not true to our idol. At the same time nothing disgusted me during that period so much as the sight of a pair of lovers. _I had the feeling that a man loses something of his manliness and dignity through intimacy with a woman._ “My next friend was Herbert. I had few sexual points of contact with him, except that we visited together the red light resorts for the first time and jointly made love to the various inmates. Herbert was so witty a fellow that I almost loved him, especially as he was slavishly devoted to me. But my neurosis made tremendous leaps for the worse even at that time and I became more and more timid and awkward in my ways and when finally he turned on me with his wit our friendship came to an end. “Next came Friedrich. He clung to me with fanatic love, this went on for about three years, until he married, and then I felt lonely in the world. My beloved mother to whom I was extremely devoted as a child could only try to console me, but I was hopelessly disconsolate. As a child I had been inseparable from her for years; _Mendelssohn’s_ well-known Spring song brought tears to my eyes because the thought of a mother losing her child seemed atrocious to me. Although I felt a great measure of that affection for mother which is common in every one’s childhood experience, a certain craving remained ungratified. I became acquainted with psychoanalysis and it brought to my mind the youthful perversities of my youth. I decided to give expression to my conscious instincts and I have come to the following conclusion: