“_My attitude towards the other sex will never be satisfactory, I must
stand either above or below woman, must be either hammer or anvil, an
unprejudiced relationship I find impossible, because as soon as I see a
pretty woman I lose my senses, and would like preferably to be at her
feet and obey her like a slave. But women do not wish that, they want to
be submissive themselves, they want to feel the man above them._
Intercourse on the level of equality I find tiresome, so there remains
only sadism for me, through which, I may confess frankly, I have already
enjoyed pleasant times. True friendship on the basis of mutual love and
respect I am capable of maintaining only with men, as in my childhood.”
This sounds like the history of a typical bisexual strongly on the way
to become a genuine homosexual. Let us turn to his psychoanalytic
treatment before we examine his sexual attitude. He went to a
psychoanalyst who had been recommended to him by _Freud_. He was wholly
unable to work, impotent with women at the time, and had recourse to
masturbation. During the first sitting he learned that he had been in
love with his mother. The knowledge of this fact acted as a “relief,”
according to his testimony. (He even told it to his mother.) Shortly
afterwards he had his first successful coitus with a woman. But the
neurosis did not change and in a short time he came to me for analysis.
I found a tremendous resistance against the discovery of the true
attitude. He employed all sorts of subterfuges to take up the time
during the consultation hours and to disclose only what he wanted. He
soon exhausted the account of his pronounced sadism and of his
masochistic tendencies. But concerning his relations to his father he
was very hazy. He became able to go to work, attended the lectures and
turned once more diligently to his studies. I saw the hopelessness of my
endeavors and broke the analysis under some pretext or other.... There
are patients, whom I have described as the psychoanalytic
_Ahasverus-type_[31] who are among the most thankless of subjects for
our professional endeavors. They rush from one analyst to another,
imploring the new consultant to remove the last of their troublous
symptoms, and stay all the time very much as they have been from the
beginning. They look upon the analysis, too, as a test of power, they
want to triumph over their consultant, they want to come out stronger
than he and—what is most important—they do not want to recognize the
real background of their attitude. They stubbornly overlook the real
foundation of their neurotic trouble and their ‘unwillingness to see’ is
made worse by their superficial acquaintance with psychoanalysis and
their fragmentary introspection. They thus run from one physician to
another, criticize the first to the second, the second to a third, the
third to a fourth. This conduct stands partly in relation to their
attitude towards the father,—a subject to which we shall have occasion
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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