“Next day when I went to the school the boy was not there; he was ill.
Another boy reported he was kept at home on account of scarlet fever. My
anxiety about him was boundless. I could think of nothing but that boy.
A schoolmate had to bring me daily reports about his condition. Often I
wandered in the neighborhood of his home, up and down the streets, and
at night I watched the lamplit window of the room where a sister was
taking care of him. Finally I heard that he was convalescing, that all
danger was over, and that he would return to school in a few weeks. I
had to keep a strong grip on myself at school to be able to carry on my
lectures at all. My thoughts were perpetually centered on my beloved boy
pupil. Continually I kept thinking: How many days longer must I keep
longing? In three weeks he will be here! My heart danced with joy at the
thought....
“There had to be a change. I could not keep on living that way. I took
my father into confidence and he sent me to you, thinking that you would
be able to furnish good advice and aid in this difficult case.”
I offered at first no advice and no help. To begin with, I allowed the
love-sick fellow to speak out everything that was on his mind and that
in itself lightened his burden. Then I undertook to obtain an insight
into his mental life before the advent of his boy love.
It turned out that he had really loved and still loves but one person in
the wide world: his sister. The affection for the bride was but a
substitute for his love of the sister. His bride was also homosexual and
loved in him but the brother of her best girl friend. As the girl friend
(his sister) cooled off during their engagement, preferring another
friendship (obviously led thereto by unconscious jealousy of the
brother), her own affection for the young man cooled off and she
promptly made use of the opportunity to break off with him. The
opportunity arose conveniently enough and the severing of the engagement
reacted most painfully upon the school teacher who had reasons of his
own for reproaching himself most bitterly.
_The more his bride kept away from his sister the greater was his
indifference to the bride. But the boy resembled his sister very
closely._
He never thought of this similarity before. They had the same eyes, the
same color of hair, and the same voice, and these played a strong rôle
with him. During that critical period his sister was interested in a
certain physician. He felt he was about to lose her affection and sought
a substitute for her and that he found in his pupil....
Now he was in a position to come to an understanding with his sister.
She had the requisite psychologic insight to understand him fully and to
lend him intelligent assistance towards his recovery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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