He reflects a while and finds no answer. I explain to him that it shows
a repressed homosexual disposition towards his friend. The trend of his
unconscious thought is: “_If I were a woman I could not withstand him._”
Perhaps the thought goes even further than that: “_Too bad I am not a
woman for then I would enjoy that beautiful man_....”
He sees at once the relationship between his jealousy and the
unrecognized inner homosexual disposition. He relates that this man is
the only friend whom he greets with a kiss after a prolonged absence,
that he likes to take him by the arm and to hold his hand.
In short, he himself is in love with his friend. He sees his friend
everywhere and the slightest resemblances impress themselves strongly on
his mind. They are emanations from his one thought: _I like him and I
wish I were a woman to yield to him._
It is very tempting to try to trace the various paths of unconscious
jealousy. But that would lead us too far off our present theme. As we
are confronted with a very complicated condition which may have the most
varied roots I propose to give a few clinical illustrations from my own
practice and to discuss the various forms of jealousy on the basis of
these data.
71. The first case of jealousy which I had occasion to observe was that
of a physician’s wife. The woman, 45 years of age, relates: “Perhaps you
can free me from a painful condition which embitters my whole life and
turns my marriage into a veritable hell. I have been married already 22
years and can assert that I have not yet had a happy day except when my
husband is all day alone with me and we have no occasion to come into
contact with another female person. He is a physician and already during
our engagement I was jealous of all his women patients. I did not know
this awful trait in myself before. At any rate it was not so pronounced
or I should have not married my husband. At first I was jealous of my
immediate acquaintances and friends, particularly of the very pretty
women among them. After marriage my condition grew worse and worse.
During the consultation hours I watched behind the door and shivered
with actual nervous chills in my excitement. My husband was a woman
specialist and a very popular woman specialist at that. I implored him
to abandon that specialty and to take up any other. I admit that the
fact of his being a woman specialist had at first excited my interest in
him and had a great deal to do with my choice of the man. I thought to
myself: the man sees so many beautiful women, he sees them naked, and
yet has chosen you,—the thought flattered me immensely. That was well
enough at first, but later the feeling of jealousy grew in its stead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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