--Loads! but one will be enough. A notorious freshwater buccaneer, named R-be-s-n, had joined the ranks. He was just falling into the hands of the enemy when Garfield seized him by the seat of his pants and the collar of his jacket, and dragged him back into the lines. The sight was too much for the enemy. They grounded arms and laughed outright. Two or three of the men, however, "potted" the heroic Garfield; he was again wounded just to the right of the end of the spinal column! Please give me one more instance? --He held the Black Friday bridge against the assault of the banking and currency column. (Committee.) He reduced the enemy at one blow from 25,000 to 250. Good gracious! How? With a sword-stroke? --No! with a lead pencil! Do you mean he annihilated 20,000 men? --No! dollars! Explain, if you please. --Certainly. Some one high up--very high up--stood in to the tune of $25,000 in the Fisk and Gould arrangement when they made a "corner" in gold. The money was sent by express. The manager of the express company assured the committee, there was no such entry in the book to Mrs. G----. Sunset Cox astonished them with some of his "reflected" light. He asked for the book and read out: Mrs. U. S. G., Wh--te Ho--se, money package, value $25,000. Dear me! --Yes, and dear me, too! Wait a minute! Up jumps _Mentor_ Garfield and says: It's only a slight mistake--evidently a mistake--the dot ought to be removed one figure to the right, thus $250.00. Presto! Gentlemen! Two hundred and fifty dollars you see, instead of twenty-five thousand. His pals remembered this, especially Grant, and he turned him loose on the Democratic majorities in Louisiana to do the same work. He must be the very devil at figures. --Just so; but that was _wiping out_ a majority in both cases. In November he'll have to try his hand at figuring up a majority where it doesn't exist. Some difference between the two [ahem!] some _slight_ difference. I suppose you allude to the election? --Pre ... cisely! What is Mr. Garfield doing now? --Playing the cat. What do you mean? --Trying to cover up the record behind him. I don't see the allusion? --That kind of allusion is seen through the _nose_. Do you think this would be a _safe_ country in Mr. Garfield's hands? --What a question! Isn't he a "Jimmy"? You mean a "tool" in the hands of the 'Pubs? --You've hit it. And they are going to make him President? --Yes; President of the Salt River Navigation and Improvement Company, unlimited. I thought they were going to make him President of the United States? --I think they might if there wasn't some one else in the way. Who's that? --Hancock. The man that signed the Declaration? --Yes; the Declaration of Gettysburg. What is he? --A real gentleman. What else? --A great soldier. Anything more? --A true citizen. He must be a _singular_ man? --He is; there are not _two_ like him in the country. I should like to see him.