London (England) -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"I won’t be hysterical," she said. "But—I can’t understand why you’re
going on like this. You loved me before you went abroad. What has
happened since?"
His eyes shifted from her face.
"What has happened since?" she repeated.
Woolf would not answer her. He got up and went to her little inlaid
bureau, picked up a pen, squared his elbows and began writing something.
Quivering with emotion, her breast heaving, her breath coming in gasping
sobs, she stood where she was, incurious as to what he was doing.
Presently he turned, and placed a piece of paper on the table.
"You can stay on here till the end of the quarter," he said. "After
that I shall sublet it. And here"—he pushed the paper toward her—"is a
little present for you."
She took a stumbling step toward him, arms outstretched, her poor face
working.
"Fred! Don’t go!" she shrieked.
But he had got to the door. He would go. Nothing she could say or do
would stop him. She had just enough presence of mind left not to follow
him. Even in that moment of distress she had the sublime unselfishness
to refrain from making a scene beyond the privacy of the flat—on his
account.
She tottered back to the table, clutching at it for support, stared down
at the slip of paper he had left there—paper with a pretty lacy pattern,
and read:
"_Pay to_ Miss Delamere ... _or order_ Twenty-five pounds."
The words danced before her eyes like little black mocking devils....
_Twenty-five pounds_! The price which Woolf thought sufficient to buy
her off!
Mad now, she scrawled her name on the back of the cheque, caught up her
hat and ran downstairs into the street. At the corner there generally
stood a miserable woman with a baby, selling flowers. She was there
now. Maggy was a regular customer of hers. She thrust the cheque upon
her.
"It’s signed on the back. Take it—oh, take it!" she said wildly, closed
the dumfounded woman’s fingers on the cheque, and sped on.
She went fast, walking aimlessly, conscious of nothing but the desire
for movement. She wanted to lose herself, to forget herself. Of the
things around her she saw nothing, heard nothing. Her processes of
thought seemed to be exhausted. Her brain was a mere reservoir of utter
hopelessness.
Yet, all the while, it was insensibly driving her in a given direction.
In a dull way she realized this when she found herself in the street
where Woolf lived. She had never been there since the day of that
eventful lunch with him, seven months ago. The memory of it had a
clarifying effect on her troubled mind. It calmed her frenzy. She asked
herself what she meant to do, but could find no answer. She had not
consciously intended going to his house. All motive for doing so was
absent. Yet she could not pass it.
She rang the bell, and when the door was opened enquired for Woolf.
"Mr. Woolf is not in, miss," said the servant; "but Lady Susan is, if
you would like to see her."
Maggy, still mentally benumbed, entered and followed her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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