One of the girl's white feet slid with a silvery jingle of its anklet
to the next step, and, as he replaced it to a more comfortable
position, a chill struck to his heart as he remembered what such
chiming had meant in the past history of the world. The measure which
that provoked was--_anathema_. That--disguised, palliated, refined in a
thousand ways--was one kind.
And the other?
The memory of his own past surged to his brain as he bent over the
girl's whitening face and scanned it narrowly. How like the face was to
that other one, now that coming death had sharpened the full, youthful
curves. He had noticed the likeness often--it had been clear when Laila
had worn the old Italian--Beatrice's--dress. But not so clear, not half
so clear, as when in this--this almost shameless one--she had said--"I
only want--him."
It might have been Margherita speaking,--Margherita, who had wanted a
man's soul.
And she had had one.
That was the other kind. But both were desire; the desire which drove
humanity from Paradise, and keeps it vainly seeking for one still.
Saturated as he was with the mysticism of the East and West, these
thoughts came to him, dreamily, making him feel curiously aloof from
himself. The pity of it filled him, and brought a pity for the dying
girl also; the girl who had failed to find a paradise in this world,
and was seeking a new road to it; seeking it alone. The only thing she
craved in all God's earth to make that paradise--gone! Priest as he
was, the humanity in him rose in passionate hope that she should not
wake to the consciousness of this. What good would it do? Let her enter
the shadows in peace.
But as he wished the wish, her head, which had been resting on his arm,
turned to the touch of it, and her smooth cheek nestled closer to what
it found.
"Kiss me, Vincent," she said, and her voice came back full, rich,
round, to make the claim. "Kiss me before you go, dear!"
The old man gave a slight shiver, and was silent.
"Vincent!" came the voice again; "you _are_ there, aren't you? You
wouldn't leave me--now--surely?"
There was another silent pause, and then, silent still, Father Ninian
stooped, and the old lips and the young ones met in a lover's kiss. And
as they met, he knew that in that kiss lay the great renunciation of
his life; that henceforward there would be no woman waiting in Paradise
for him; that the spiritual presence had gone from his life like the
bodily presence. That Margherita was Juliet, and Juliet, Margherita!
"That's nice," murmured Laila, softly; "that's nice."
Her head settled to his arm again, and the silence went on. On and on,
till he stooped lower to listen for an unheard breath; then lower still
to shift that head from his arm to the ground. For the need of a human
touch, a human sympathy, had gone forever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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