"It is the end," they said briefly. "Come, _risaldar-jee_--" the change
of title was significant--"we shall have to ride far and fast if we are
to live."
Once more, every atom of the man, soul and body, seemed to strike out
furiously at the voice, at the truth and the untruth in it; at the
assertion of failure, the linking of his need with theirs.
"Ride for your lives if you want them," he cried fiercely; "I seek
death."
They left him, after unavailing protests, and rode helter-skelter on to
the Fort, warning their comrades that the game was up, so, on towards
safety. And the _jogi_, naked but not ashamed, still swinging his
chaplet of skulls, followed them leisurely; for he knew himself safe in
the superstition and the devotion of every woman in India. Since he,
Her servant, could not fail of shelter in every Hindoo homestead, far
or near, in which a woman's hand closed on a man's, holding him tight
for herself alone, as the Great Mother holds all men.
Roshan, thus left alone, rode his horse on slowly to the central
plinth, dismounted, and, hitching the bridle over the muzzle of the
"_Teacher of Religion_" stood staring out dully at what lay before him;
so quiet, so commonplace!
Nothing changed from the day, barely a month ago, when he had stood
beside the old gun with Vincent Dering and Lance Carlyon, contemptuous
of the ignorance of others, satisfied with himself.
And now?--what had come to him?
The madness, which his wild gallop from the gaol had calmed somewhat,
returned in a fierce rush, and with it that one desire for revenge; for
something by which to show the contempt, which was not now merely for
the ignorant; but for those others, self-righteous, tyrannical, who had
dared to touch him--dared to make him what he was--a prey both to
ignorance and wisdom, savagery and culture--a laughing-stock even to
himself!
And who had begun the fooling? Who had taught him as a boy?
Pidar Narâyan! Who else? Who else had begun the game giving some
things, withholding others? And who else was within reach? Who else
could be followed up and forced to fair fight? Forced to admit that the
pupil was ahead now of the master.
He laughed a laugh of absolute exultation; and a wave of purely
childish satisfaction swept through the mind in which there were still
so many depths of childish ignorance and misconception; unavoidable
depths in the culture of a bare score of years. Leaving his horse
tethered to the old gun, he ran hastily across to the palace, so,
finding the door open, the whole place quiet, went on down the arched
passage. It was still dark there, but a glimmer of light showed the
entrance to the chapel, and to the armoury beside it, which was his
goal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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