I can never read expressions like the following, which occur more or
less in all manuals of history, save in those of the present day in
which battles are juggled with as if they gained themselves--_At the
voice of their chief the soldiers rushed to the assault_.--_At
the voice of their general the troops rallied_--without hearing
my father’s voice echoing through all the house. Tem Bossette, who
was fearfully afraid of it, would hear it from the uttermost vines.
The step announced a presence, but the voice gave orders. And yet the
labourers were not under my father; all the same every one of them
felt that he was the head. Everything about him conspired to give this
impression; his height, his clear cut features, crossed by a short
stiff moustache, his piercing eyes, the gaze of which one did not like
to encounter. A sort of fascination emanated from his person. Aunt
Deen, who shared the general sentiment, would say _my nephew_,
as if bursting with pride. The grenadier in the drawing-room could
not have pursed up his lips otherwise to speak of the Emperor. I had
not escaped this fascination, and even in my days of revolt I never
ceased to pay him secret worship. But the spirit of liberty impels us
to act contrary to our surest instincts, under pretext of asserting our
liberty.
Do not think he was severe with us. He became terrible only when we
were taking the wrong direction. Only, I have never known in any one
else such an aptitude for command. In spite of his absorbing profession
he found time to look after our studies and plays, and even to add to
both by the epic stories which with consummate art he used to tell us.
My memory retains them to this day, and will retain them always. It was
easy to see that he honoured the family portraits. He made the past of
our ancestors live again for us, but I could never forget that they
were bad paintings.
When we felt ourselves observed by father we understood that in his
glance, which encompassed our weakness with his strength, there was
something besides tenderness and perhaps pride, but what was it? I know
now that he was seeking in each one of us forecasts of our future. The
antiquity of our race was not enough to satisfy his love of permanence;
he would fain follow it into the obscure travail of the future and
consolidate its unity. Even our happiness was less dear to him than the
obedience of our will to the common task. The father’s glance enfolds
within it the child’s image; the child knows that well, and it is all
he needs to know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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