The House: An Episode in the Lives of Reuben Baker, Astronomer, and of His Wife, AliceField, Eugene
General
The House: An Episode in the Lives of Reuben Baker, Astronomer, and of His Wife, Alice
Field, Eugene
Home ownership -- Fiction; Humorous stories
"Good sir," said the stranger, "pardon me for this intrusion, but
misfortunes of a most grievous character compel me to thrust myself
upon your mercy. You behold in me, sir, one of the most hapless of
creatures, one whom adversity has buffeted with cruel pertinacity, and
finally driven out to become a homeless and friendless wanderer upon
the face of the earth. My name, sir, is Percival Wax, born and reared
under the auspices of riches, but now forced by the reverses of
remorseless fate to importune you for the wherewithal to procure food
and lodging."
"Mr. Wax," said I, "your appearance by no means belies your words.
Your raiment is torn and soiled; your shoes are not mates, and your hat
was evidently made for a larger head than yours. I also read in your
dim eyes, your unkempt beard, and your dishevelled hair corroboration
of your claims to intimacy with adversity. While I sympathize with you
in your misfortune, I cannot break one of the imperative rules which
govern the conduct of my life; if you are willing to work I will gladly
provide you with the means of relief from your embarrassment."
"Work? Ah, kind sir," said Mr. Wax, eagerly, "it is that which I have
vainly sought for weeks. I have been out of employment ever since the
combined efforts of our National Administration and of our incompetent
Congress succeeded in sowing the seeds of distrust in every mind,
thereby stagnating business and precipitating a financial crisis, from
the debris of which I can never hope to arise."
"Can you make flower-beds, Mr. Wax?" I asked.
"Kind gentleman," he answered, "my profession before financial ruin
overwhelmed me was that of a landscape gardener."
This was, indeed, a marvellously pleasing coincidence. Here was the
very man I needed.
"Take up the barrow, Mr. Wax, and follow me," said I.
I showed him where I wanted the flowerbeds made--the circular, the
square, and the oblong. He was first to remove the turf and then fill
in and square up the beds with black dirt. I found him quick to
understand, and he seemed to be anxious to get to work.
"You can begin as soon as you please," said I. "Meanwhile I shall go
to luncheon, and on my return I shall bring you three or four mustard
sandwiches and some hard-boiled eggs to stay you until you have
finished your task."
"Thank you, kind sir," said Mr. Wax with tears of gratitude in his
voice.
I was gone an hour or more. At luncheon I told Alice of what I had
done, but she did not seem to share my enthusiasm at having provided
Mr. Wax with an opportunity to turn an honest penny or two. She very
clearly indicated to me her distrust of all tramps, to which class she
was sure Mr. Wax belonged. Thereupon I warned Alice against the
inhumanity and wickedness of insensibility to the sufferings of others,
and I was glad that the children were at the table with us to hear my
remarks in praise of that charity which has compassion for all
conditions of misery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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