The House by the Church-YardLe Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
General
The House by the Church-Yard
Le Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
Country life -- Ireland -- Fiction; Ireland -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction
has periodically done down to the present day--he languidly asked Dr.
Walsingham his opinion upon the subject.
Now, Dr. Walsingham was a great reader of out-of-the-way lore, and
retained it with a sometimes painful accuracy; and he forthwith began--
'There is, my Lord Castlemallard, a curious old tract of the learned Van
Helmont, in which he says, as near as I can remember his words, that
magnetism is a magical faculty, which lieth dormant in us by the opiate
of primitive sin, and, therefore, stands in need of an excitator, which
excitator may be either good or evil; but is more frequently Satan
himself, by reason of some previous oppignoration or compact with
witches. The power, indeed, is in the witch, and not conferred by him;
but this versipellous or Protean impostor--these are his words--will not
suffer her to know that it is of her own natural endowment, though for
the present charmed into somnolent inactivity by the narcotic of
primitive sin.'
I verily believe that a fair description--none of your poetical
balderdash, but an honest plodding description of a perfectly
comfortable bed, and of the process of going to sleep, would,
judiciously administered soon after dinner, overpower the vivacity of
any tranquil gentleman who loves a nap after that meal--gently draw the
curtains of his senses, and extinguish the bed-room candle of his
consciousness. In the doctor's address and quotation there was so much
about somnolency and narcotics, and lying dormant, and opiates, that my
Lord Castlemallard's senses forsook him, and he lost, as you, my kind
reader, must, all the latter portion of the doctor's lullaby.
'I'd give half I'm pothethed of, Thir, and all my prothpecth in life,'
lisped vehemently plump little Lieutenant Puddock, in one of those stage
frenzies to which he was prone, 'to be the firtht Alecthander on the
boardth.'
Between ourselves, Puddock was short and fat, very sentimental, and a
little bit of a _gourmet_; his desk stuffed with amorous sonnets and
receipts for side-dishes; he, always in love, and often in the kitchen,
where, under the rose, he loved to direct the cooking of critical little
_plats_, very good-natured, rather literal, very courteous, _a
chevallier_, indeed, _sans reproche_. He had a profound faith in his
genius for tragedy, but those who liked him best could not help thinking
that his plump cheeks, round, little light eyes, his lisp, and a certain
lack-a-daisical, though solemn expression of surprise, which Nature, in
one of her jocular moods, seemed to have fixed upon his countenance,
were against his shining in that walk of the drama. He was blessed, too,
with a pleasant belief in his acceptance with the fair sex, but had a
real one with his comrades, who knew his absurdities and his virtues,
and laughed at and loved him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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