The House by the RiverHerbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
General
The House by the River
Herbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction; Poets -- Fiction
Mrs. Whittaker was a little distressed by the meagre attendance. Six or
seven ladies of The Chase, Mr. Dimple, the barrister, Mr. Mard, the
architect, and his wife were there; but these were all elderly and
unexciting, and without some powerful stimulus from the outer world it
was impossible to prevent them from discussing food and domestic
servants. Domestic worries dominated their lives. Life in The Chase was
one long domestic worry. And the great problem of Mrs. Whittaker's At
Homes was to prevent people from talking about servants, food, and
domestic worries. Her method was to invite large numbers of artistic,
literary, and otherwise interesting people from distant London, who were
apparently immune from domestic worries or were at any rate capable of
excluding them from their conversation. The artistic element was thinly
represented this evening by a psychologist from Oxford and a dramatic
critic. But, nobly though they strove to discuss the drama and the mind,
they were hopelessly swamped by a loud discussion on domestic servants
and food among the ladies of The Chase, vigorously led by Mrs. Vincent
and Mrs. Church. Mrs. Ralph Vincent was a carroty-haired lady of
extraordinary aggressiveness and defiant juvenility in the face of her
forty-five summers and seven children. Mrs. Church was the
widow-daughter of old Mrs. Ambrose, who was ninety and extremely deaf.
Mrs. Church herself had an unfortunate stutter. Yet these two ladies,
living together at Island View, practically constituted the Intelligence
Staff of The Chase. They knew everything. They never went out, except on
Wednesdays to the Whittakers', when the indomitable Mrs. Ambrose strode
unaided under the splendid elms to Willow House and laboured by stages
up the narrow stairs. But their agents came to them daily for teas and
"little talks," and handed over, willingly or no, the secrets of The
Chase. Nor could it be said that either of them knew more or less than
the other. Old Mrs. Ambrose prided herself on her lip-reading, and no
doubt Mrs. Church's unfortunate impediment made it easier for the old
lady to practise this art to advantage. Some said, indeed, that Mrs.
Church's stutter had been assumed in filial piety for this very purpose.
Mrs. Ambrose was busily endeavouring to read the lips of the
psychologist and the dramatic critic, whom she suspected of being
engaged in a discussion of unusual interest, if not actual indelicacy.
People who knew of her supposed gift felt sometimes very uncomfortable
about conversation in her presence, especially if they were speaking to
some reckless person who did not know of it.
The voice of the psychologist was heard protesting to his host the
sincerity and thoroughness of the Oxford method. Whittaker stood
patiently in front of him with a trayful of home-made cocktails. "We
_make_ them concentrate ... _a priori_ ... processes of thought ...
lectures ... philosophy ... system...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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