The House by the RiverHerbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
General
The House by the River
Herbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction; Poets -- Fiction
ease and assurance might have returned, the maddening difficulties
melted away, so strange and fitful are the springs of inspiration.
So all these weeks he worked and saw nobody; he did not see Muriel,
though the Tarrants were still at home, and he did not see John, who had
gone away to Devonshire with a fellow Civil Servant. But at last in the
third week the labour was finished. It was finished at sunset on a
breathless evening; he finished it with a glowing sense of contentment
with good work done. Then he read it over, from beginning to end. And as
he read the glow faded, the contentment departed. The mournful
disillusion of achievement began. Here and there were phrases which
stirred, passages which satisfied; but for the most part he read his
work with a sort of sick shame and disappointment. Who in the wide world
could read these stale and wearisome lines? Each of them at one time had
seemed the fresh and perfect expression of a fine thought; each of them
was the final choice of numberless alternatives; but so often he had
read them, so often written them, so often in his head endlessly recited
them, in the streets and on the river or in the dark night, that they
were all old now, old and dull.
He had learned by long experience to discount a little this gloomy and
inevitable reaction, and now as he turned over the final page of spidery
manuscript, he tried hard to restore his faith, reminding himself that
the world would see his work as he saw it first himself, and not as he
saw it now. Anyhow, it was done, and could not be mended any more.
Perhaps it would be better when it was typed. But then the drudgery
would begin again--the reading and re-reading and alteration and doubt,
the weary numbering of pages, the weary correction of typist's lunacies.
And after that there would be proofs and the correcting of proofs; then
new doubts would discover themselves, and the old doubts would live
again; and he would hate it. Yet it would be better then--it would be
better in print. Now he was tired of it and would forget it. He felt the
impulse to relaxation and indulgence and rest which drives athletes to
excesses when their race is run, their long discipline over. He went out
into the garden and into the boat, and paddled gently upstream with the
tide, under the bank. It was nearly ten and the sun was long down. There
was no moon and it was dark on the river with the brilliant darkness of
a starry night. He paddled gently past John's house, scarcely moving the
oars; past Mr. Farraday's and the two moored barges at the Bakery wharf.
He drifted under the fig-tree by the Whittakers', and came near to the
house of the Tarrants. The Tarrants' house, like his own, was on the
river side of the road, and their garden ran down to a low wall over the
water. As he came out from under the fig-tree he looked up over his
shoulder at the house; and Muriel Tarrant was in his mind. There was a
figure in a white dress leaning motionless over the wall, and as he
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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