“It’s such a very old story, you see. He was unhappy. His wife’s
ungovernable temper drove him from the house. He had to lead his
intellectual as well as his physical life. He lived most of his time in
college. Went home for week-ends—vainly seeking reconciliation. Then
the girl threw herself into his life. She worshipped him. She seemed to
give him something sweet and beautiful which he had been looking for.
And he fell in love with her. And when she knew it, she was taken up
into the Seventh Heaven and she didn’t care for God or woman—only for
him. It lasted just a month—the end of the summer term. Oh, it was very
innocent, as far as that goes—they only met alone in the open
air—stolen hours in the afternoon. Only one kiss ever passed between
them. And then he said: ‘I am a brute and a fool. This can’t go on.’ She
had given herself to him in spirit and was ready to go on and on
whithersoever he chose, so long as she was with him; but she was too shy
and tongue-bound to say so. And he stamped along the road, and she by
his side, all her heart and soul a-flutter, and he cried: ‘My God, I
never thought it would have come to this! My child, forgive me. If ever
I hurt a hair of your dear head, may God damn me to all eternity!’ And
they walked on in silence and she was frightened—till they came to the
turn of the road—this way to Newnham, that to Cambridge. And he gripped
her two hands and said: ‘If I withered this flower that has blossomed in
my path I should be a damnable villain.’ He turned and walked to
Cambridge. And the girl, not understanding anything save her love for
him, wept bitterly all the way to Newnham. She neither saw him nor heard
of him after that. And a week afterwards he disappeared, leaving no
trace behind. And whether he’s alive or dead she doesn’t know till this
day. And that is the real story of your father.”
He had turned and put both elbows on the intervening table and, head in
hand, listened to her words. When she ended, he said:
“Thank God. And thank you. So that is the word of the enigma.”
“Yes. There is no other.”
“And if he had been less—what shall we say—Quixotic—less scrupulous
on the point of a woman’s honour—you would have followed him to the end
of the world——”
“I?” She started back from the table. “I? What do you mean?”
“Why the friend, Sister? Why the camouflage?” He reached out his hand
and grasped hers. “Confess.”
She returned his pressure, shrugged her shoulders, and said, without
looking at him:
“I suppose it was rather thin. Yes. Of course I would have thrown
everything to the winds for him. It was on my account that he went
away—but, as God hears me, I never sent him.”
A long silence stole on them. There was so much that struggled to be
said, so little that could be said. At last the young man gripped his
crutches and wriggled from his chair. She rose swiftly to aid him.
“Let us have a turn in the sun. It will be good for us.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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