The next morning I awaited with considerable perturbation of mind the
arrival of my nun. I felt assured that, after the occurrences of the
previous day, there must certainly be some sort of a change in her. She
could not go on exactly as she had gone on before. The nature of this
anticipated change concerned me very much,--too much, I assured myself.
Would she be more rigid and repellent than she had been before the
advent of the wasp? But this would be impossible. On the other hand,
would she be more like other people? Would she relax a little, and work
like common secretaries? Or,--and I whistled as I thought of it,--having
once done so, would she permanently cut loose from the absurdities
enjoined upon her by the House of Martha people, and look at me and talk
to me in the free, honest, ingenuous, frank, sincere, and thoroughly
sensible manner in which she had spoken to me the day before?
After revolving these questions in my mind for some time, another one
rudely thrust itself upon me: would she come at all? It was already
seven minutes past nine; she had never been so late. Now that I came to
think of it, this would be the most natural result of the wasp business.
The thought shocked me. I ceased to walk up and down my study, and
stopped whistling. I think my face must have flushed; I know my pulse
beat faster. My eyes fell upon the body of him who I believed had been
my friend. I felt like crushing his remains with my fist. He had been my
enemy! He had shown me what I had to lose, and he had made me lose it.
Even in the midst of my agitation this thought made me smile. How much I
was making of this affair of my secretary. What difference, after
all--But I did not continue the latter question. It did make a
difference, and it was of no use to reason about it. What was I to do
about it? That was more to the point.
At this instant, my nun, followed by Sister Sarah, entered the adjoining
room. The latter merely bowed to me, went out, and locked the door
behind her. I was very glad she did not speak to me, for the sudden
revulsion of feeling produced by the appearance of the two would have
prevented my answering her coherently. I do not know whether my nun
bowed or not. If she did, the motion was very slight. She took her seat
and prepared for work. I did not say anything, for I did not know what
to say. The proper thing to do, in order to relieve my embarrassment and
hers,--that is, if she had any,--was to begin work at once; but for the
life of me I could not remember whether my dictation of the day before
concerned Sicily or Egypt. I did not like to ask her, for that would
seem like a trick to make her speak.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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