A few mornings after the recommencement of the dictation I was a little
late in entering my study, and I found my secretary already at the table
in the anteroom. In answer to my morning salutation she merely bowed,
and sat ready for work. She did not even offer to read what she had last
written. This surprised me. Was she resenting what she might look upon
as undue stiffness and reserve? If so, I was very sorry, but at the same
time I would meet her on her own ground. If she chose to return to her
old rigidity, I would accept the situation, and be as formal as she
liked.
More than this, I began to feel a little resentment. I would revert not
only to my former manner, but to my former matter. I would wind up that
love-story, and confine myself to the subject of foreign travel.
Acting on this resolution, I made short work of Tomaso and Lucilla. The
former determined not to think of marriage until he was several years
older, and had acquired the necessary means to support a wife; and
Lucilla accepted the advice of her mother and the priest, and obtained a
situation in a lace-making establishment in Venice, where she resolved
to work industriously until the middle-aged innkeeper had made up his
mind whether or not he would marry one of the handsome girls to whom he
had become guardian.
To this very prosaic conclusion of the love-story I added some remarks
intended as an apology for introducing such a story into my sketches of
travel, and showing how the little narrative brought into view some of
the characteristics of the people of Sicily. After that I discoursed of
the present commerce of Italy as compared with that of the Middle Ages.
My secretary took no notice whatever of my change of subject, but went
on writing as I dictated. This apathy at last became so annoying to me
that, excusing myself, I left my study before the hour of noon.
It is impossible for me to say how the events, or rather the want of
events, of that morning disturbed my mind. By turns I was angry, I was
grieved, I was regretful, I was resentful. It is so easy sometimes for
one person, with the utmost placidity, to throw another person into a
state of mental agitation; and this I think is especially noticeable
when the placid party is a woman.
As the day wore on, my disquiet of mind and body and general ill humor
did not abate, and, wishing that other people should not notice my
unusual state of mind, I took an early afternoon train to the city;
leaving a note for Walkirk, informing him that his services as listener
would not be needed that evening. The rest of that day I spent at my
club, where, fortunately for my mood, I met only a few old fellows who
could not get out of town in the summer, and who had learned, from long
practice, to be quite sufficient unto themselves. Seated in a corner of
the large reading-room, I spent the evening smoking, holding in my hand
an unread newspaper, and asking myself mental questions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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