New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
She stirred once, and turned on her side, and as she did so, she
suddenly understood why she did not feel herself alone. It was
odd—but Nettie Struther’s child was lying on her arm: she felt
the pressure of its little head against her shoulder. She did not
know how it had come there, but she felt no great surprise at the
fact, only a gentle penetrating thrill of warmth and pleasure.
She settled herself into an easier position, hollowing her arm to
pillow the round downy head, and holding her breath lest a sound
should disturb the sleeping child.
As she lay there she said to herself that there was something she
must tell Selden, some word she had found that should make life
clear between them. She tried to repeat the word, which lingered
vague and luminous on the far edge of thought—she was afraid of not
remembering it when she woke; and if she could only remember it and
say it to him, she felt that everything would be well.
Slowly the thought of the word faded, and sleep began to enfold
her. She struggled faintly against it, feeling that she ought
to keep awake on account of the baby; but even this feeling was
gradually lost in an indistinct sense of drowsy peace, through
which, of a sudden, a dark flash of loneliness and terror tore its
way.
She started up again, cold and trembling with the shock: for a
moment she seemed to have lost her hold of the child. But no—she
was mistaken—the tender pressure of its body was still close to
hers: the recovered warmth flowed through her once more, she
yielded to it, sank into it, and slept.
Chapter 14
The next morning rose mild and bright, with a promise of summer
in the air. The sunlight slanted joyously down Lily’s street,
mellowed the blistered house-front, gilded the paintless railings
of the doorstep, and struck prismatic glories from the panes of her
darkened window.
When such a day coincides with the inner mood there is intoxication
in its breath; and Selden, hastening along the street through the
squalor of its morning confidences, felt himself thrilling with a
youthful sense of adventure. He had cut loose from the familiar
shores of habit, and launched himself on uncharted seas of emotion;
all the old tests and measures were left behind, and his course was
to be shaped by new stars.
That course, for the moment, led merely to Miss Bart’s
boarding-house; but its shabby doorstep had suddenly become the
threshold of the untried. As he approached he looked up at the
triple row of windows, wondering boyishly which one of them
was hers. It was nine o’clock, and the house, being tenanted
by workers, already showed an awakened front to the street. He
remembered afterward having noticed that only one blind was down.
He noticed too that there was a pot of pansies on one of the window
sills, and at once concluded that the window must be hers: it was
inevitable that he should connect her with the one touch of beauty
in the dingy scene.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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