She looked into Clifford’s face, and beheld there a soft natural
effusion; for his heart gushed out, as it were, and ran over at his
eyes, in delightful reverence for God, and kindly affection for his
human brethren. The emotion communicated itself to Hepzibah. She
yearned to take him by the hand, and go and kneel down, they two
together,—both so long separate from the world, and, as she now
recognized, scarcely friends with Him above,—to kneel down among the
people, and be reconciled to God and man at once.
“Dear brother,” said she earnestly, “let us go! We belong nowhere. We
have not a foot of space in any church to kneel upon; but let us go to
some place of worship, even if we stand in the broad aisle. Poor and
forsaken as we are, some pew-door will be opened to us!”
So Hepzibah and her brother made themselves, ready—as ready as they
could in the best of their old-fashioned garments, which had hung on
pegs, or been laid away in trunks, so long that the dampness and mouldy
smell of the past was on them,—made themselves ready, in their faded
bettermost, to go to church. They descended the staircase
together,—gaunt, sallow Hepzibah, and pale, emaciated, age-stricken
Clifford! They pulled open the front door, and stepped across the
threshold, and felt, both of them, as if they were standing in the
presence of the whole world, and with mankind’s great and terrible eye
on them alone. The eye of their Father seemed to be withdrawn, and gave
them no encouragement. The warm sunny air of the street made them
shiver. Their hearts quaked within them at the idea of taking one step
farther.
“It cannot be, Hepzibah!—it is too late,” said Clifford with deep
sadness. “We are ghosts! We have no right among human beings,—no right
anywhere but in this old house, which has a curse on it, and which,
therefore, we are doomed to haunt! And, besides,” he continued, with a
fastidious sensibility, inalienably characteristic of the man, “it
would not be fit nor beautiful to go! It is an ugly thought that I
should be frightful to my fellow-beings, and that children would cling
to their mothers’ gowns at sight of me!”
They shrank back into the dusky passage-way, and closed the door. But,
going up the staircase again, they found the whole interior of the
house tenfold more dismal, and the air closer and heavier, for the
glimpse and breath of freedom which they had just snatched. They could
not flee; their jailer had but left the door ajar in mockery, and stood
behind it to watch them stealing out. At the threshold, they felt his
pitiless gripe upon them. For, what other dungeon is so dark as one’s
own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one’s self!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account