“Ah, Mr. Holgrave,” cried she, as soon as she could speak, “I never can
go through with it! Never, never, never! I wish I were dead, and in the
old family tomb, with all my forefathers! With my father, and my
mother, and my sister! Yes, and with my brother, who had far better
find me there than here! The world is too chill and hard,—and I am too
old, and too feeble, and too hopeless!”
“Oh, believe me, Miss Hepzibah,” said the young man quietly, “these
feelings will not trouble you any longer, after you are once fairly in
the midst of your enterprise. They are unavoidable at this moment,
standing, as you do, on the outer verge of your long seclusion, and
peopling the world with ugly shapes, which you will soon find to be as
unreal as the giants and ogres of a child’s story-book. I find nothing
so singular in life, as that everything appears to lose its substance
the instant one actually grapples with it. So it will be with what you
think so terrible.”
“But I am a woman!” said Hepzibah piteously. “I was going to say, a
lady,—but I consider that as past.”
“Well; no matter if it be past!” answered the artist, a strange gleam
of half-hidden sarcasm flashing through the kindliness of his manner.
“Let it go! You are the better without it. I speak frankly, my dear
Miss Pyncheon!—for are we not friends? I look upon this as one of the
fortunate days of your life. It ends an epoch and begins one. Hitherto,
the life-blood has been gradually chilling in your veins as you sat
aloof, within your circle of gentility, while the rest of the world was
fighting out its battle with one kind of necessity or another.
Henceforth, you will at least have the sense of healthy and natural
effort for a purpose, and of lending your strength be it great or
small—to the united struggle of mankind. This is success,—all the
success that anybody meets with!”
“It is natural enough, Mr. Holgrave, that you should have ideas like
these,” rejoined Hepzibah, drawing up her gaunt figure with slightly
offended dignity. “You are a man, a young man, and brought up, I
suppose, as almost everybody is nowadays, with a view to seeking your
fortune. But I was born a lady, and have always lived one; no matter in
what narrowness of means, always a lady.”
“But I was not born a gentleman; neither have I lived like one,” said
Holgrave, slightly smiling; “so, my dear madam, you will hardly expect
me to sympathize with sensibilities of this kind; though, unless I
deceive myself, I have some imperfect comprehension of them. These
names of gentleman and lady had a meaning, in the past history of the
world, and conferred privileges, desirable or otherwise, on those
entitled to bear them. In the present—and still more in the future
condition of society-they imply, not privilege, but restriction!”
“These are new notions,” said the old gentlewoman, shaking her head. “I
shall never understand them; neither do I wish it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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