Like a great rush of water, memory came back to her. He was still
horribly fascinating as of old--only she was no longer susceptible to
his fascination. He had changed somewhat in those years. The lines about
his mouth had grown harder and a steel-like look had come into his eyes.
Only for a moment, as he looked at her, a flash of tenderness seemed to
come back to them. Then he said, with a touch of sadness: "Why should
the first word between us be a lie?"
Ethel made no answer.
Reginald looked at her half in wonder and said: "And is your love for
the boy so great that it overcame your hate of me?"
Ah, he knew! She winced.
"He has told you?"
"Not a word."
There was something superhuman in his power of penetration. Why should
she wear a mask before him, when his eyes, like the eyes of God, pierced
to the core of her being?
"No," she replied, "it is not love, but compassion for him."
"Compassion?"
"Yes, compassion for your victim."
"You mean?"
"Reginald!"
"I am all ear."
"I implore you."
"Speak."
"You have ruined one life."
He raised his eyebrows derogatively.
"Yes," she continued fiercely, "ruined it! Is not that enough?"
"I have never wilfully ruined any one's life."
"You have ruined mine."
"Wilfully?"
"How else shall I explain your conduct?"
"I warned you."
"Warning, indeed! The warning that the snake gives to the sparrow
helpless under its gaze."
"Ah, but who tells you that the snake is to blame? Is it not rather the
occult power that prescribes with blood on brazen scroll the law of our
being?"
"This is no solace to the sparrow. But whatever may be said, let us drop
the past. Let us consider the present. I beg of you, leave this boy--let
him develop without your attempting to stifle the life in him or
impressing upon it the stamp of your alien mind."
"Ethel," he protested, "you are unjust. If you knew--" Then an idea
seemed to take hold of him. He looked at her curiously.
"What if I knew?" she asked.
"You shall know," he said, simply. "Are you strong?"
"Strong to withstand anything at your hand. There is nothing that you
can give me, nothing that you can take away."
"No," he remarked, "nothing. Yes, you have changed. Still, when I look
upon you, the ghosts of the past seem to rise like live things."
"We both have changed. We meet now upon equal grounds. You are no
longer the idol I made of you."
"Don't you think that to the idol this might be a relief, not a
humiliation? It is a terrible torture to sit in state with lips
eternally shut. Sometimes there comes over the most reticent of us a
desire to break through the eternal loneliness that surrounds the soul.
It is this feeling that prompts madmen to tear off their clothes and
exhibit their nakedness in the market-place. It's madness on my part, or
a whim, or I don't know what; but it pleases me that you should know the
truth."
"You promised me long ago that I should."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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