"You mean that day when I lay before you on my knees," she corrected
him.
"That day I buried my last dream of personal happiness. I would have
gladly raised you from the floor, but love was utterly gone. If I am
tenderer to-day than I am wont to be, it is because you mean so much to
me as the symbol of my renunciation. When I realised that I could not
even save the thing I loved from myself, I became hardened and cruel to
others. Not that I know no kindly feeling, but no qualms of conscience
lay their prostrate forms across my path. There is nothing in life for
me but my mission."
His face was bathed in ecstasy. The pupils were luminous, large and
threatening. He had the look of a madman or a prophet.
After a while Ethel remarked: "But you have grown into one of the
master-figures of the age. Why not be content with that? Is there no
limit to your ambition?"
Reginald smiled: "Ambition! Shakespeare stopped when he had reached his
full growth, when he had exhausted the capacity of his contemporaries. I
am not yet ready to lay down my pen and rest."
"And will you always continue in this criminal course, a murderer of
other lives?"
He looked her calmly in the face. "I do not know."
"Are you the slave of your unknown god?"
"We are all slaves, wire-pulled marionettes: You, Ernest, I. There is
no freedom on the face of the earth nor above. The tiger that tears a
lamb is not free, I am not free, you are not free. All that happens must
happen; no word that is said is said in vain, in vain is raised no
hand."
"Then," Ethel retorted, eagerly, "if I attempted to wrest your victim
from you, I should also be the tool of your god?"
"Assuredly. But I am his chosen."
"Can you--can you not set him free?"
"I need him--a little longer. Then he is yours."
"But can you not, if I beg you again on my knees, at least loosen his
chains before he is utterly ruined?"
"It is beyond my power. If I could not rescue you, whom I loved, what in
heaven or on earth can save him from his fate? Besides, he will not be
utterly ruined. It is only a part of him that I absorb. In his soul are
chords that I have not touched. They may vibrate one day, when he has
gathered new strength. You, too, would have spared yourself much pain
had you striven to attain success in different fields--not where I had
garnered the harvest of a lifetime. It is only a portion of his talent
that I take from him. The rest I cannot harm. Why should he bury that
remainder?"
His eyes strayed through the window to the firmament, as if to say that
words could no more bend his indomitable will than alter the changeless
course of the stars.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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