Humorous stories; Married people -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"I trust monsieur is not displeased," says he. "It was not wise for me
to walk about at night. But those wicked worms! Still, if monsieur
desires, it shall not occur again. I ask pardon."
"Now, that's all right, Leon," says I soothin'. "Don't worry. When it
comes to playin' the boob act, I guess we split about fifty-fifty. I'd a
little rather you didn't, but if you must hunt the wicked worm at night,
why, go to it. You won't run any more risk of being shot up by me. For
I've disarmed."
CHAPTER VII
BACK WITH CLARA BELLE
And me kiddin' myself I was fairly well parlor-broke. It seems not.
You'd 'most think, though, I'd had enough front-room trainin' to stand
me through in a place like Harbor Hills. I had a wild idea, too, that
when we moved into the country we'd tagged the reg'lar social stuff
good-by.
That was a poor hunch. I'm just discoverin' that there's more tea fights
and dinner dances and such goin's on out here in the commuter zone than
in any five blocks of Fifth Avenue you can name. And it seems that
anywhere within ten miles of this Piping Rock Club brings you into the
most active sector. So here we are, right in the thick of things.
At that, I expect it might have been quite some time before we was
bothered any if it hadn't been for our bein' sort of backed by the
Robert Ellinses. As their friends we're counted in right off the reel.
I've been joshed into lettin' my name go on the waitin' list at the
Country Club; I'm allowed to subscribe to this and that; some of the
neighbors have begun payin' first calls on Vee.
So I might have had sense enough to watch my step. Yet, here the other
afternoon, when I makes an early getaway from the Corrugated and hops
off the 5:17, I dashes across the back lots and comes into our place by
the rear instead of the front drive. You see, I'd been watchin' a row of
string-beans we had comin' along, and I wanted to spring the first ones
on Vee. Sure enough, I finds three or four pods 'most big enough to eat;
so I picks 'em and goes breezin' into the house, wavin' em gleeful.
"Oh, Vee!" I sings out, openin' the terrace door. "Come have a look."
And, as she don't appear on the jump, I keeps on into the livin'-room
and calls:
"Hey! What do you know about these? Beans! Perfectly good----"
Well, that's as far as I gets, for there's Vee, sittin' behind the
silver tea-urn, all dolled up; and Leon, in his black coat, holdin' a
plate of dinky little cakes; and a couple of strange ladies starin' at
me button-eyed. I'd crashed right into the midst of tea and callers.
Do I pull some easy johndrew lines and exit graceful? Not me. My feet
was glued to the rug.
"Beans!" says I, grinnin' simple and danglin' the specimens. "Perfectly
good string----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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