The House on the Moor, v. 1/3Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
The House on the Moor, v. 1/3
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
As for Susan, her whole mind, as she worked in silence, was full of the
wonderful intimation she had just heard. Perhaps by this time you are
disposed to think that Susan was very insensible and dull in her
feelings not to be miserable about the enmity which existed between her
father and brother; but Susan was accustomed to it, and had never seen
other fathers and sons, and had seen this go on in the same way so long,
that, though she felt it uncomfortable, she entertained no apprehensions
about it. As for Horace, if he would remain by himself in the window,
looking out upon the black night, Susan could not help it. He was not
more miserable there than he would be at the table with his father's
austere shadow upon him; and conversation was tacitly prohibited in
those dismal evenings. Susan's was still an unawakened mind; her brother
did not encourage her to think her own influence over him of any
importance, nor permitted her to suppose that she had any power to
soothe him; and the trembling, timid, mediatory love, which holds a
fearful balance in many a divided household, needs love and softness of
some kind, on one side or the other, to keep it alive. Love Susan found
none in either of her two nearest relatives. She loved them by nature
and custom; sometimes a terrible impatience of their discord seized
her, and a momentary impulse of passion, to do something or say
something which should stir this stagnant, stormy calm, or perhaps
change the manner of their existence, had possessed her once or twice in
her life; but the tender, anxious, intense love which cruelty cannot
kill when it has once developed itself, never can develop itself without
the stimulus and creating power of dear love from some one to begin
with. Thus it was that Susan beheld with vexation and distress
sometimes, but without agony, the unnatural feud beside her, that she
took neither side, because either side was equally cold, repulsive, and
unaffectionate. She did not know life; she knew not even the fictitious
life of books. She did not fear when her brother rushed out into the
night, as he did often, that Horace would fall into the rude snares of
village dissipation, or run in the way of vulgar crime. She was not
alarmed for a possible outbreak of violence between the father and son;
such things had never been suggested to her inexperienced mind.
So she sat in the silence, not resenting it for her own part, content in
herself, and making out of that dismal quiet a little circle of domestic
tranquillity when she arranged her patches and contrasted her colours,
and secretly entertained vague anticipations of unknown pleasure, and a
warmth of inextinguishable personal happiness, in the very heart of the
misery through which her life had grown.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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