The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
committee of infuriated cats, and wound up with protracted whining
notes, commencing in a whimper, and then with a sudden jerk, bursting
into a loud, monotonous howl. Yet, withal, these attendants, who slept
on mats, in the rooms adjacent to that of their mistress, and fed upon
the preparations of her own cuisine, were, in the main, very civil and
inoffensive, and seemed to look upon the Princess with the utmost awe.
The "agent," or "secretary," or "prime-minister," or whatever he might
be called, was very mysterious as to the objects, purposes, history, and
antecedents of her Highness, and the quidnuncs were in despair until,
one morning, the "Bristol Mirror," then a leading paper, came out with a
flaring announcement, expressing the pleasure it felt in acquainting the
public with the fact, that a very eminent and interesting foreign
personage had arrived from her home in the remotest East to proffer His
Majesty, George III, the unobstructed commerce and friendship of her
realm, which was as remarkable for its untold wealth as for its
marvelous beauty. The lady was described as a befitting representative
of the loveliness and opulence of this new Golconda and Ophir in one,
since her matchless wealth and munificence were approached only by her
ravishing personal charms. The other papers took up the topic, and were
even more extravagant. "Felix Farley's Journal" gave a long narrative of
her wanderings and extraordinary adventures in the uttermost East, as
gleaned, of course, from her garrulous agent. The island of her chief
residence was described as being of vast extent and fertility, immensely
rich and populous, and possessing many rare and beautiful arts unknown
to the nations of Europe. The princess had become desperately enamored
of a certain young Englishman of high rank, who had been shipwrecked on
her coast, but had afterward escaped, and as she learned, safely reached
a port in China, and thence departed for Europe. The Princess had
hereupon set out upon her journeyings over the world in search of him.
In order to facilitate her enterprise, and softened by the deep
affection she felt for the son of Albion, she had determined to break
through the usages of her country, and form an alliance with that of her
beloved.
Such were the statements everywhere put in circulation; and when the
Longbows of the place got full hold of it, Gulliver, Peter Wilkins, and
Sinbad the Sailor were completely eclipsed. Diamonds as big as hen's
eggs, and pearls the size of hazelnuts, were said to be the commonest
buttons and ornaments the Princess wore, and her silks and shawls were
set beyond all price.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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