The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
At AEgae there stood a temple dedicated to AEsculapius, who figured on
earth as a great physician and compounder of simples, and after death
was made a god. The edifice was much larger and more splendid than the
Brandreth House on Broadway, although we have no record of AEsculapius
having bestowed upon the world any such benefaction as the universal
pills. However, unlike our modern M. D.s, the latter was in the habit of
re-appearing after death, in this temple, and there holding forth to the
faithful on various topics of domestic medicine. Apollonius was allowed
to take up his residence in the establishment, and, no doubt, the
priests initiated him into all their dodges to impose upon the people.
Another tenet of the Pythagorean faith was a total abstinence from
beans, an arrangement which would be objectionable in New England and in
Nassau street eating houses.
Apollonius however, who knew nothing of Yankees or Nassau street,
manfully completed his novitiate. Restored at length to the use of beans
and of his talking apparatus, he set forth upon a lecturing tour through
Pamphylia and Cilicia. His themes were temperance, economy, and good
behavior, and for the very novelty of the thing, crowds of disciples
soon gathered about him. At the town of Aspenda he made a great hit,
when he "pitched into" the corn merchants who had bought up all the
grain during a period of scarcity, and sold it to the people at
exorbitant prices. Of course, such things are not permitted in our day!
Apollonius moved by the sufferings of women and children, took his stand
in the market place, and with his stylus wrote in large characters upon
a tablet the following advice to the speculators in grain:
"The earth, the common mother of all, is just. But, ye being unjust,
would make her a bountiful mother to yourselves alone. Leave off your
dishonest traffic, or ye shall be no longer permitted to live."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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