The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
The grain-merchants, upon beholding this appeal, relented, for there was
conscience in those days; and, moreover, the populace had prepared
torches, and proposed to fry a few of the offenders, like oysters in
bread-crumbs. So they yielded at once, and great was the fame of the
prophet. Thus elevated in his own opinion, Apollonius, still preaching
virtue by the wayside, set out for Babylon, after visiting the cities of
Antioch, Ephesus, etc., always attracting immense crowds. As he
penetrated further toward the remote East, his troops of followers fell
off, until he was left with only three companions, who went with him to
the end. One of these was a certain Damis, who wrote a description of
the journey, and, by the way, tells us that his master spoke all
languages, even those of the animals. We have men in our own country who
can talk "horse-talk" at the races, but probably none so perfectly as
this great Tyanean. The author of "The Ruined Cities of Africa," a
recent publication, informs us that at Lamba, an African village, there
is a leopard who can "speak." This would go to show that the "animals,"
are aspiring in a direction directly the opposite of the acquirements of
Apollonius, and I shall secure that leopard, if possible, for exhibition
in the Museum, and for a fair consideration send him to any public
meeting where some one is needed who will come up to the scratch!
But, to resume. On his way to Babylon, Apollonius saw by the roadside a
lioness and eight whelps, where they had been killed by a party of
hunters, and argued from the omen that he should remain in that city
just one year and eight months, which of course turned out to be exactly
the case. The Babylonish monarch was so delighted with the eloquence and
skill of the noted stranger, that he promised him any twelve gifts that
he might choose to ask for, but Apollonius declined accepting anything
but food and raiment. However, the King gave him camels and escort to
assist his journey over the northern mountains of Hindostan, which he
crossed, and entered the ancient city of Taxilia. On the way, he had a
high time in the gorges of the hills with a horrible hobgoblin of the
species called empusa by the Greeks. This demon terrified his companions
half out of their wits, but Apollonius bravely assailed him with all
sorts of hard words, and, to literally translate the old Greek
narrative, "blackguarded" him so effectually that the poor devil fled
with his tail between his legs. At Taxilia, Phraortes, the King, a
lineal descendant of the famous Porus--and truly a porous personage,
since he was renowned for drinking--gave the philosopher a grand
reception, and introduced him to the chief of the Brahmins, whose
temples he explored. These Hindoo gentlemen opened the eyes of
Apollonius wider than they had ever been before, and taught him a few
things he had never dreamed of, but which served him admirably during
his latter career. He returned to Europe by way of the Red Sea, passing
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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