The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
But after Tom had disgraced his office for two years, a State election
took place and the other party were successful. Among the first laws
which they passed after the convening of the Legislature, was one
declaring that from that date imprisonment for debt should not be
permitted in the State of Pennsylvania for any sum less than ten
dollars.
This enactment, of course, knocked away the chief prop which sustained
the Alderman, and when the news of its passage reached Philadelphia, Tom
was the most indignant man that had been seen there for some years.
Standing in front of his office the next morning, surrounded by several
of his political chums, Tom exclaimed:
"Do you see what them infernal tories have done down there at
Harrisburg? They have been and passed an outrageous, oppressive,
barbarous, and unconstitutional law! A pretty idea, indeed, if a man
can't put a debtor in jail for a less sum than ten dollars! How am I
going to support my family, I should like to know, if this law is
allowed to stand? I tell you, gentlemen, this law is unconstitutional,
and you will see blood running in our streets, if them tory scoundrels
try to carry it out!"
His friends laughed, for they saw that Tom was reasoning from his pocket
instead of his head; and, as he almost foamed at the mouth in his
impotent wrath they could not suppress a smile.
"Oh, you may laugh, gentlemen--you may laugh; but you will see it. Our
party will never disgrace itself a permitting the tories to rob them of
their rights by passing unconstitutional laws; and I say, the sooner we
come to blood, the better!"
At this moment, a gentleman stepped up, and addressing the Alderman,
said:
"Alderman, I want to bring a case of book debt before you this morning."
"How much is your claim?" asked Tom.
"Four dollars," replied the rumseller--for such he proved to be--and his
debt was for drinks chalked up against one of his "customers."
"You can't have your four dollars, Sir," replied the excited Alderman.
"You are robbed of your four dollars, Sir. Them legislative tories at
Harrisburg, Sir, have cheated you out of your four dollars, Sir. I
undertake to say, Sir, that fifty thousand honest men in Philadelphia
have been robbed of their four dollars by these bloody tories and their
cursed unconstitutional law! Ah, gentlemen, you will see blood running
in our streets before you are a month older. (A laugh.) Oh, you may
laugh; but you will see it--see if you don't!"
A newsboy was just passing by.
"Here, boy, give me the Morning Ledger," said the Alderman, at the same
time taking the paper and handing the boy a penny. "Let us see what them
blasted cowboys are doing down at Harrisburg now. Ah!--what is this?"
(Reading:) "'Blood, blood, blood!' Aha! laugh, will you, gentlemen? Here
it is." Reads:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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