In calm first-floors he saw the light Of circles cosy for the night; But far ahead the gas-lamps glow; He turn'd his head, and murmur'd "Slow," PROCLIVIOR! "Come early home," his Uncle said, "We all are early off to bed; The family blame you far and wide;" But loud that noisy youth replied-- PROCLIVIOR! "Stay," said his Aunt, "come home to sup, Early retire--get early up." A wink half quivered in his eye; He answered to the old dame's sigh-- PROCLIVIOR! "Mind how you meddle with that lamp! And mind the pavement, for it's damp!" Such was the Peeler's last good-night A faint voice stutter'd out "All right." PROCLIVIOR! At break of day, as far West-ward A cab roll'd o'er the highways hard, The early mover stopp'd to stare At the wild shouting of the fare-- PROCLIVIOR! And by the bailiff's faithful hound, At breakfast-time, a youth was found, Upon three chairs, with aspect nice, True to his young life's queer device, PROCLIVIOR! Thence, on a dull and muggy day, They bore him to the Bench away, And there for several months he lay, While friends speak gravely as they say-- PROCLIVIOR! JONES AT THE BARBER'S SHOP. PUNCH. SCENE.--A Barber's Shop. Barber's men engaged in cutting hair, making wigs, and other barberesque operations. Enter JONES, meeting OILY the barber. JONES. I wish my hair cut. OILY. Pray, sir, take a seat. OILY puts a chair for JONES, who sits. During the following dialogue OILY continues cutting JONES'S hair. OILY. We've had much wet, sir. JONES. Very much, indeed. OILY. And yet November's early days were fine. JONES. They were. OILY. I hoped fair weather might have lasted us Until the end. JONES. At one time--so did I. OILY. But we have had it very wet. JONES. We have. [A pause of some minutes. OILY. I know not, sir, who cut your hair last time; But this I say, sir, it was badly cut: No doubt 't was in the country. JONES. No! in town! OILY. Indeed! I should have fancied otherwise. JONES. 'Twas cut in town--and in this very room. OILY. Amazement!--but I now remember well. We had an awkward, new provincial hand, A fellow from the country. Sir, he did More damage to my business in a week Than all my skill can in a year repair. He must have cut your hair. JONES (looking at him). No--'twas yourself. OILY. Myself! Impossible! You must mistake. JONES. I don't mistake--'twas you that cut my hair. [A long pause, interrupted only by the clipping of the scissors. OILY. Your hair is very dry, sir. JONES. Oh! indeed. OILY. Our Vegetable Extract moistens it. JONES. I like it dry. OILY. But, sir, the hair when dry. Turns quickly gray. JONES. That color I prefer, OILY. But hair, when gray, will rapidly fall off, And baldness will ensue. JONES. I would be bald.