Oh, Spirit! Spirit of Literature, Alien to Law! Oh, Muse! ungracious to thy sterner sister, THEMIS, Whither away?--Away! Far from my brief--Brief with a fee upon it, Tremendous! And probably--before my business is concluded-- A REFRESHER--nay, several!! Whither whirlest thou thy thrall? Thy willing thrall? "NOW AND THEN;" But not just at this moment, If you please, Spirit! No, let me read and ponder on THE PLEADINGS. Declaration! Plea!! Replication!!! Rejoinder!!!! Surrejoinder!!!!! Rebutter!!!!!! Surrebutter!!!!!!! ETC! ETC!! ETC!!! It may not be. The Muse-- As ladies often are-- Though lovely, is obstinate, And will have her own way! * * * * And am I not As well as a Q.S., An F.R.S. And LL.D.? Ask BLACKWOOD The reason why, and he will tell you, So will the Mayor-- The MAYOR OF HULL! I obey, Spirit. Hang my brief--'tis gone!-- To-morrow let my junior cram me in Court. Whither away? Where am I? What is it I behold? In space, or out of space? I know not. In fact I've not the least idea if I'm crazy. Or sprung--sprung? I've only had a pint of Port at dinner And can't be sprung-- Oh, no!--Shame on the thought! I see a coach!-- Is it a coach? Not exactly. Yet it has wheels-- Wheels within wheels--and on the box A driver, and a cad behind, And Horses--Horses?-- Bethink thee--Worm!-- Are they Horses? or that race Lower than Horses, but with longer ears And less intelligence-- In fact--"EQUI ASINI," Or in vernacular JACKASSES? 'Tis not a coach exactly-- Now I see on the panels-- Pricked out and flourished-- A word! A magic word-- "THE DILLY!"--"THE DERBY DILLY!" Oh Dilly! Dilly!--all thy passengers Are outsiders-- The road is rough and rutty-- And thy driver, like NIMSHI'S son-- Driveth Furiously! And the cad upon the monkey-board The monkey-board behind, Scorneth the drag--but goes Downhill like mad. He hath a Caucasian brow! A son of SHEM, is he, Not of HAM-- Nor JAPHETH-- In fact a Jew-- But see, the pace Grows faster--and more fast--in fact-- I may say A case of Furious driving! Take care, you'll be upset-- Look out! Holloa! * * * * Horrible! Horrible!! Horrible!! The Dilly-- With all its precious freight Of men and Manners-- Is gone! Gone to immortal SMASH! Pick up the pieces! Let me wipe my eyes! Oh Muse--lend me my scroll To do it with, for I have lost My wipe! PART SECOND