The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
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The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
American poetry; American wit and humor; English poetry; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, American; Humorous poetry, English
O'er fell, and o'er fen,
Over mountain and glen,
All bright in the moonshine, his eye roved, and then
All the Patriot rose in his soul, and he thought
Upon Wales, and her glories, and all he'd been taught
Of her Heroes of old,
So brave and so bold,--
Of her Bards with long beards, and harps mounted in gold
Of King Edward the First,
Of memory accurst;
And the scandalous manner in which he behaved,
Killing Poets by dozens,
With their uncles and cousins,
Of whom not one in fifty had ever been shaved--
Of the Court Ball, at which, by a lucky mishap,
Owen Tudor fell into Queen Katherine's lap;
And how Mr. Tudor,
Successfully woo'd her,
Till the Dowager put on a new wedding ring,
And so made him Father-in law to the King.
He thought upon Arthur, and Merlin of yore,
On Gryffith ap Conan, and Owen Glendour;
On Pendragon, and Heaven knows how many more.
He thought of all this, as he gazed, in a trice,
On all things, in short, but the late Mrs. Pryce;
When a lumbering noise from behind made him start,
And sent the blood back in full tide to his heart,
Which went pit-a-pat
As he cried out "What's that?"--
That very queer sound?--
Does it come from the ground?
Or the air,--from above,--or below,--or around?--
It is not like Talking,
It is not like Walking,
It's not like the clattering of pot or of pan,
Or the tramp of a horse,--or the tread of a man,--
Or the hum of a crowd,--or the shouting of boys,--
It's really a deuced odd sort of a noise!
Not unlike a cart's,--but that can't be;--for when
Could "all the King's horses, and all the King's men,"
With Old Nick for a wagoner, drive one up "PEN?"
Pryce, usually brimful of valor when drunk,
Now experienced what school-boys denominate "funk."
In vain he look'd back
On the whole of the track
He had traversed; a thick cloud, uncommonly black,
At this moment obscured the broad disc of the moon,
And did not seem likely to pass away soon;
While clearer and clearer,
'Twas plain to the hearer,
Be the noise what it might, it drew nearer and nearer,
And sounded, as Pryce to this moment declares,
Very much "like a coffin a-walking up stairs."
Mr. Pryce had begun
To "make up" for a run,
As in such a companion he saw no great fun,
When a single bright ray
Shone out on the way
He had passed, and he saw, with no little dismay,
Coming after him, bounding o'er crag and o'er rock,
The deceased Mrs. Winifred's "Grandmother's Clock!!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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