The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes — John Shaqi
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
"Terms--thirty days with good endorsed paper," was sufficient for the
adventurous Smith to _buy_ and depend on Jenks' _autograph_ to _secure_
the goods. When in funds, Bingle went where he chose; when a little
_short_, Jenks had his patronage. Jenks kept but few memorandums of acts
of kindness he daily committed; hence when the evil effects of them
began to revolve upon him--if not mortified or ashamed of his
"bargains," he at least was astounded at the results. Brown, whose due
bills or memorandums Jenks held, to the amount of seven thousand
dollars, accommodation _loans_, took an apoplectic, one warm summer's
day, after taking a luxurious dinner. Jenks had hardly learned that
Brown's affairs were pronounced in a state of deferred bankruptcy, when
the first rumor reached him that Smith had _bolted_, after a heavy
transaction in "woolens"--Jenks his principal endorser--Smith not
leaving assets or assigns to the amount of one red farthing.
"By Jove!" poor Jenks muttered, as he tremulously seated himself in his
back counting room--"that's shabby in Smith--very shabby."
The next morning's Gazette informed the community that Bingle had
failed--liabilities over $200,000--prospects barely giving hopes of ten
per cent, all around; and even this hope, upon Jenks' investigation,
proved a forlorn one; by a _modus operandi_ peculiar to the heartless,
self-devoted, _they_ got all, Jenks and the _few_ of his ilk, got
nothing!
For the first time in his life, Jenks became pecuniarily moody. For the
first time, in the course of his mercantile career, of some six years,
the force of reflection convinced him, that he had not acted his part
judiciously, however "well done" it might be, in point of honor and
manliness.
The next day Jenks devoted to a scrutiny of his accounts in general with
the business world. He found things a great deal "mixed up;" his
balance-sheet exhibited large surplusages accumulated on the score of
his leniency and good nature; by the credit of those with whom he held
business relations. A council of war, or expediency, rather,--_solus_,
convinced Jenks, he had either mistaken his business qualifications, or
formed a very vague idea of the soul--manners and customs of the
business world; and he broke up his council, a sadder if not a wiser
man.
"By Jove, this is discouraging; I'll have to do a very disagreeable
thing, very disagreeable thing: _make an assignment!_"
"Who'd thought John Jenks would ever come to that?" that individual
muttered to himself, as he proceeded to his hotel. And ere he reached
his plate, at the tea-table, a servant whispered that a gentleman with a
message was out in the "office" of the hotel, anxious to see Mr. Jenks.
"Mr. Jenks--John Jenks, I believe, sir?" began the person, as poor
Jenks, now on the _tapis_ for more ill news, approached the person in
waiting.
"Precisely, that's my name, sir," Jenks responded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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