The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
And, good as his word, when the man was taken, the Lieutenant had him
whipped severely. This riled up Adjt. Wash., who, in good, round,
unvarnished terms, volunteered to lick the Lieutenant--out of his
leathers! From words they came to blows, very expeditiously, and somehow
or other the Lieutenant came out second best--bad licked! This sort of
a finale did not set well upon the stomach of the gallant Lieutenant; so
he ups and writes a challenge to the Adjutant to meet in mortal combat;
and readily finding a second, the challenge was signed, sealed, and
delivered to Adjt. Armstrong, Company ----, Ohio volunteers. All these
preliminaries were carried on in, or very near in, Camargo. The Adjutant
readily accepted the invitation to step out and be shot at; and, having
scared up his second, and having no heirs or assigns, goods, chattels,
or other sublunary matters to adjust, no time was lost in making wills
or leaving posthumous information. The duel went forward with alacrity,
but all of a sudden it was discovered by the several interested parties
that no arms were in the crowd. It would not very well do to go to camp
and look for duelling weapons; so it was proposed to do the best that
could be done under the circumstances, and buy such murderous tools as
could be found at hand, and go into the merits of the case at once. At
length the Adjutant and friend chanced upon a machine supposed to be a
pistol, brought over to the Continent, most probably, by Cortez, in the
year 1--sometime. It was a _scrougin_' thing to hold powder and lead,
and went off once in three times with the intonation of a four-pounder.
"Hang the difference," says the Adjutant; "it will do."
"Must do," the second replies; and so paying for the tool, and
swallowing down a fresh invoice of _ardiente_, the fighting men start to
muster up their opponents, whom they found armed and equipped, upon a
footing equal to the other side, or pretty near it, the Lieutenant
having a little _heavier_ piece, with a bore into which a gill measure
might be thrown.
"But--the difference!" cried seconds and principals.
"Let's fight, not talk," says the Adjutant.
"That's my opinion, gentlemen, exactly," the Lieutenant responds.
"Where shall we go?"
"Anywhere!"
"Better get out into the chaparral," say the cautious seconds; "don't
want a crowd. Come on!" continue the seconds, very valorously; "let's
fight!"
"Here's the ground!" cries one, as the parties reach a chaparral, a mile
or so from town; "here is our ground!"
The principals stared around as if rather uncertain about that, for the
bushes were so thick and high that precious little _ground_ was visible.
"It ain't worth while, gentlemen, to toss up for positions, is it?" says
the Adjutant's second.
"No," cry both principals. "Measure off the _ground_, if you can find
it; let us go to work."
"That's the talk!" says the Adjutant's second.
"Measure off thirty paces," the Lieutenant's second responds.
"No, ten!" cry the principals.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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