The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
The carriage being overfull, Triangle concluded to walk up, stretch his
legs, try his dog and gun, and have a pop at the game. But, alas, for
the villanous dog; no sooner had he got loose and scampered off up the
road, than he sees a flock of sheep some distance across the fields, and
away he pitched. The sheep ran, he after the sheep; and poor Triangle
after his dog.
"Hay! you Ponto--here--hay--Ponto-o-o! Hey, boy, come here, you dog--hi!
hi!--do you hear-r-r?"
But Ponto was off, and after a run of half a mile, he came up with a
lamb, and before Triangle could come to the rescue, Ponto had opened the
campaign by killing sheep! Triangle was so put out about it that in
wrath he up with his gun and was about to terminate the existence of the
dog, but compromised the matter by hitting him a whack across the back
with the barrels of his shooting-iron; in doing so, he broke off the
stock, clean as a whistle! It is useless to deny that Triangle _was_
mad; that he swore equal to an Erie Canal boatman; and that his fury so
alarmed the dog that he took to his heels and went--as Triangle
hoped--anywhere, head foremost.
[Illustration: "With a presence of mind truly unparalleled, she laid
down 'baby' upon the grass, and made fight with 'the spiteful
craturs.'"--_Page_ 169.]
With a face as long as a boot-jack, quite tuckered out and disgusted
with things as far as he had got, Triangle reached Jingo Hall, where he
met the warm welcome of his friend, Major Jingo, and soon recuperated
his good humor and physical activity by the contents of the Major's
"well-stocked" _wine-cellar_. Ashamed of the facts of the case, Triangle
trumped up a cock-and-bull story about the dog and gun.
After a season, the Triangles got settled away, and the first day or two
passed without anything extraordinary turning up, if we may except the
upturning of several flower-pots and hen's nests by the children. But
the third day opened ominously. Triangle's dog was found with one of the
Major's dead lambs under convoy, and the Irish hostler had caught him,
tied him up in the stable, and given him such a dressing that Ponto's
soul-case was nearly beaten out of him!
The next item was a yowl in the garden! Everybody rushed out--Mrs.
Triangle in her excitement, lest something had happened to "baby," and
Nora, the girl, struck the centre-table, upset the "Astral," and not
only demolished that ancient piece of furniture, but spilled enough
thick oil over the gilt-edged literature, table-cloth, and carpet, to
make a barrel of soft soap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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