The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
For the great benefit of this discovery, thus freely communicated and
bestowed by me on the public, I demand neither place, pension, exclusive
privilege, nor any other reward whatever. I expect only to have the
honour of it. And yet I know there are little envious minds who will, as
usual, deny me this, and say that my invention was known to the
ancients, and perhaps they may bring passages out of old books in proof
of it. I will not dispute with these people that the ancients knew not
the sun would rise at certain hours—they possibly had, as we have,
almanacs that predicted it—but it does not follow thence that they knew
_he gave light as soon as he rose_. This is what I claim as my
discovery. If the ancients knew it, it might have been long since
forgotten, for it certainly was unknown to the moderns, at least to the
Parisians, which to prove I need use but one plain, simple argument.
They are as well instructed, judicious, and prudent a people as exist
anywhere in the world, all professing, like myself, to be lovers of
economy; and, from the many heavy taxes required from them by the
necessities of the state, have surely an abundant reason to be
economical. I say it is impossible that so sensible a people, under such
circumstances, should have lived so long by the smoky, unwholesome, and
enormously expensive light of candles, if they had really known that
they might have had as much pure light of the sun for nothing.
_Benjamin Franklin._
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_MISS MEHETABEL’S SON._
A MAN with a passion for _bric-à-brac_ is always stumbling over antique
bronzes, intaglios, mosaics, and daggers of the time of Benvenuto
Cellini; the bibliophile finds creamy vellum folios and rare Alduses and
Elzevirs waiting for him at unsuspected bookstalls; the numismatist has
but to stretch forth his palm to have priceless coins drop into it. My
own weakness is odd people, and I am constantly encountering them. It
was plain I had unearthed a couple of very queer specimens at Bayley’s
Four Corners. I saw that a fortnight afforded me too brief an
opportunity to develop the richness of both, and I resolved to devote my
spare time to Mr. Jaffrey alone, instinctively recognising in him an
unfamiliar species.
My professional work in the vicinity of Greenton left my evenings and
occasionally an afternoon unoccupied; these intervals I purposed to
employ in studying and classifying my fellow-boarder. It was necessary,
as a preliminary step, to learn something of his previous history, and
to this end I addressed myself to Mr. Sewell that same night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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