The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
I spoke it in the bitter jest
Of one his own deep sadness scorning.
SENSIBLE WIFE.
Well, candour is at all times best;
I wish you, sir, a fair good morning!
_Charles Graham Halpine._
------------------------------------------------------------------------
_KITTY ANSWERS._
IT was dimmest twilight when Kitty entered Mrs. Ellison’s room, and sank
down on the first chair in silence.
“The Colonel met a friend at the St. Louis, and forgot about the
expedition, Kitty,” said Fanny, “and he only came in half-an-hour ago.
But it’s just as well; I know you’ve had a splendid time. Where’s Mr.
Arbuton?”
Kitty burst into tears.
“Why, has anything happened to him?” cried Mrs. Ellison, springing
towards her.
“To him? No! What should happen to _him_?” Kitty demanded, with an
indignant accent.
“Well, then, has anything happened to _you_?”
“I don’t know if you can call it _happening_. But I suppose you’ll be
satisfied now, Fanny. He’s offered himself to me.”
Kitty uttered the last words with a sort of violence, as if, since the
fact must be stated, she wished it to appear in the sharpest relief.
“Oh, dear!” said Mrs. Ellison, not so well satisfied as the successful
match-maker ought to be. So long as it was a marriage in the abstract,
she had never ceased to desire it; but as the actual union of Kitty and
this Mr. Arbuton, of whom, really, they knew so little, and of whom, if
she searched her heart, she had as little liking as knowledge, it was
another affair. Mrs. Ellison trembled at her triumph, and began to think
that failure would have been easier to bear. Were they in the least
suited to each other? Would she like to see poor Kitty chained for life
to that impassive egotist, whose very merits were repellent, and whose
modesty even seemed to convict and snub you? Mrs. Ellison was not able
to put the matter to herself with moderation, either way; doubtless she
did Mr. Arbuton injustice now.
“Did you accept him?” she whispered feebly.
“Accept him?” repeated Kitty. “No!”
“Oh, dear!” again sighed Mrs. Ellison, feeling that this was scarcely
better, and not daring to ask further.
“I’m dreadfully perplexed, Fanny,” said Kitty, after waiting for the
questions which did not come, “and I wish you’d help me think.”
“I will, darling. But I don’t know that I’ll be of much use. I begin to
think I’m not very good at thinking.”
Kitty, who longed chiefly to get the situation more distinctly before
herself, gave no heed to this confession, but went on to rehearse the
whole affair. The twilight lent her its veil; and in the kindly
obscurity she gathered courage to face all the facts, and even to find
what was droll in them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account