The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
I have pretty much come to the conclusion that you have got to put your
foot down in gardening. If I had actually taken counsel of my friends, I
should not have had a thing growing in the garden to-day but weeds. And
besides, while you are waiting, Nature does not wait. Her mind is made
up. She knows just what she will raise; and she has an infinite variety
of early and late. The most humiliating thing to me about a garden is
the lesson it teaches of the inferiority of man. Nature is prompt,
decided, inexhaustible. She thrusts up her plants with a vigour and
freedom that I admire; and the more worthless the plant, the more rapid
and splendid its growth. She is at it early and late, and all night;
never tiring, nor showing the least sign of exhaustion.
“Eternal gardening is the price of liberty,” is a motto that I should
put over the gateway of my garden, if I had a gate. And yet it is not
wholly true; for there is no liberty in gardening. The man who
undertakes a garden is relentlessly pursued. He felicitates himself
that, when he gets it once planted, he will have a season of rest and of
enjoyment in the sprouting and growing of his seeds. It is a green
anticipation. He has planted a seed that will keep him awake nights,
drive rest from his bones, and sleep from his pillow. Hardly is the
garden planted, when he must begin to hoe it. The weeds have sprung up
all over it in a night. They shine and wave in redundant life. The docks
have almost gone to seed; and their roots go deeper than conscience.
Talk about the London Docks!—the roots of these are like the sources of
the Aryan race. And the weeds are not all. I awake in the morning (and a
thriving garden will wake a person up two hours before he ought to be
out of bed), and think of the tomato-plants,—the leaves like fine
lace-work, owing to black bugs that skip around, and can’t be caught.
Somebody ought to get up before the dew is off (why don’t the dew stay
on till after a reasonable breakfast?) and sprinkle soot on the leaves.
I wonder if it is I. Soot is so much blacker than the bugs, that they
are disgusted, and go away. You can’t get up too early if you have a
garden. You must be early due yourself, if you get ahead of the bugs. I
think that, on the whole, it would be best to sit up all night, and
sleep day-times. Things appear to go on in the night in the garden
uncommonly. It would be less trouble to stay up than it is to get up so
early.
[Illustration: “WHEN THEY BREAK INTO THE GARDEN.”]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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