The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
COLONEL MULBERRY SELLERS was in his “library,” which was his
“drawing-room,” and was also his “picture gallery,” and likewise his
“workshop.” Sometimes he called it by one of these names, sometimes by
another, according to occasion and circumstance. He was constructing
what seemed to be some kind of a frail mechanical toy, and was
apparently very much interested in his work. He was a white-headed man
now, but otherwise he was as young, alert, buoyant, visionary, and
enterprising as ever. His loving old wife sat near by, contentedly
knitting and thinking, with a cat asleep in her lap. The room was large,
light, and had a comfortable look—in fact, a home-like look—though the
furniture was of a humble sort, and not over-abundant, and the
knick-knacks and things that go to adorn a living-room not plenty and
not costly. But there were natural flowers, and there was an abstract
and unclassifiable something about the place which betrayed the presence
in the house of somebody with a happy taste and an effective touch.
Even the deadly chromos on the walls were somehow without offence; in
fact, they seemed to belong there, and to add an attraction to the
room—a fascination, anyway; for whoever got his eye on one of them was
like to gaze and suffer till he died—you have seen that kind of
pictures. Some of these terrors were landscapes, some libelled the sea,
some were ostensible portraits, all were crimes. All the portraits were
recognisable as dead Americans of distinction, and yet, through
labelling, added by a daring hand, they were all doing duty here as
“Earls of Rossmore.” The newest one had left the works as Andrew
Jackson, but was doing its best now as “Simon Lathers Lord Rossmore,
Present Earl.” On one wall was a cheap old railroad map of Warwickshire.
This had been newly labelled, “The Rossmore Estates.” On the opposite
wall was another map, and this was the most imposing decoration of the
establishment, and the first to catch a stranger’s attention, because of
its great size. It had once borne simply the title SIBERIA; but now the
word “FUTURE” had been written in front of that word. There were other
additions, in red ink—many cities, with great populations set down,
scattered over the vast country at points where neither cities nor
populations exist to-day. One of these cities, with population placed at
1,500,000, bore the name “Libertyorloffskoizalinski,” and there was a
still more populous one, centrally located and marked “Capitol,” which
bore the name “Freedomslovnaivenovich.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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