Glorious, glorious! By my soul he speaks well! But as for me, I should like to take a part on the stage for a change; it would do my heart good. To be sure I tremble and stammer, and my wit is not of the quickest, but I am never so happy as when I am making a little joke. (_He scrambles up on the stage._) And so, Sir Scaramuccio, leave your funny _rôle_ to me, and then, for all I care, you may play the Apollo. POET. And what then is to become of my excellent drama? AUDIENCE. Scaramuccio shall play the Apollo. It is a unanimous decision. POET. ’Tis well. I wash my hands of it. The audience may bear the responsibility. I am deeply miserable. Ah, yes, it is the fate of Art to be misunderstood and travestied, and it is only then that it finds its public. In vengeance for the judgment passed upon Marsyas, Poetry herself is flayed alive to-day. My sorrow is greater than I can endure. Herr Grünhelm, so you undertake to do the joking? GRÜNHELM. I do, Sir Poet, and I will hold my own against any rival. POET. How will you do it? GRÜNHELM. Sir, I have been one of those whose chief business it is to be amused long enough to know what will please. The people down there want to be entertained. At bottom that is the only reason they stand there so quietly and patiently. The good-will of the public is the principal thing, I know that as well as you do. True art is to keep this good-will on the surface. POET. Yes, of course, but by what means do you propose----? GRÜNHELM. Let that be my care, Sir Poet. (_Sings_:) “A fowler’s trade is mine, heigh-ho,” etc. AUDIENCE. Bravo! bravo! GRÜNHELM. Are you pretty well amused, gentlemen? AUDIENCE. Excellently, most excellently! GRÜNHELM. Do you feel a longing for anything reasonable? AUDIENCE. No, no; but by-and-by we should like to have our feelings worked upon. GRÜNHELM. Patience, you can’t have all good things in a lump. Do you miss the genuine Apollo? AUDIENCE. Not in the least. GRÜNHELM. Well, Sir Poet, do you still object to granting the excellent Scaramuccio’s request? POET. Not in the least. I withdraw all my objections. AUDIENCE. But we don’t want him to give us nothing but nonsense. SCARAMUCCIO. Mercy on us! We would not be guilty of such a sinful thing. What kind of an Apollo were I if I should admit of that? No, gentlemen, there shall be an abundance of serious things--things to think about, things to train one’s intellectual faculties. SCAEVOLA. Is it to be a tragedy? PIERROT. No, gentlemen, we actors have all sworn that we will not die, so it won’t be a tragedy, whatever the poet may have in his mind. SCAEVOLA. I am relieved to hear it, for I am possessed of a very soft heart. PIERROT. Hang it, sir, neither are we made of stone and iron. I have the honour of assuring you that my susceptibilities are uncommonly delicate. The devil take all inelegancies. SCAEVOLA.