The Humour of Homer and Other EssaysButler, Samuel
History
The Humour of Homer and Other Essays
Butler, Samuel
Essays; Greek wit and humor -- History and criticism; Homer -- Humor
"'My own favourite cities,' answered Juno, 'are Argos, Sparta, and
Mycenae. Sack them whenever you may be displeased with them. I
shall not make the smallest protest against your doing so. It would
be no use if I did, for you are much stronger than I am, only I will
not submit to seeing my own work wasted. I am a goddess of the same
race as yourself. I am Saturn's eldest daughter and am not only
nearly related to you in blood, but I am wife to yourself, and you
are king over the gods. Let it be a case, then, of give and take
between us, and the other gods will follow our lead. Tell Minerva,
therefore, to go down at once and set the Greeks and Trojans by the
ears again, and let her so manage it that the Trojans shall break
their oaths and be the aggressors.'"
This is the very thing to suit Minerva, so she goes at once and
persuades the Trojans to break their oath.
In a later book we are told that Jove has positively forbidden the
gods to interfere further in the struggle. Juno therefore
determines to hoodwink him. First she bolted herself inside her own
room on the top of Mount Ida and had a thorough good wash. Then she
scented herself, brushed her golden hair, put on her very best dress
and all her jewels. When she had done this, she went to Venus and
besought her for the loan of her charms.
"'You must not be angry with me, Venus,' she began, 'for being on
the Grecian side while you are yourself on the Trojan; but you know
every one falls in love with you at once, and I want you to lend me
some of your attractions. I have to pay a visit at the world's end
to Oceanus and Mother Tethys. They took me in and were very good to
me when Jove turned Saturn out of heaven and shut him up under the
sea. They have been quarrelling this long time past and will not
speak to one another. So I must go and see them, for if I can only
make them friends again I am sure that they will be grateful to me
for ever afterwards.'"
Venus thought this reasonable, so she took off her girdle and lent
it to Juno, an act by the way which argues more good nature than
prudence on her part. Then Juno goes down to Thrace, and in search
of Sleep the brother of Death. She finds him and shakes hands with
him. Then she tells him she is going up to Olympus to make love to
Jove, and that while she is occupying his attention Sleep is to send
him off into a deep slumber.
Sleep says he dares not do it. He would lull any of the other gods,
but Juno must remember that she had got him into a great scrape once
before in this way, and Jove hurled the gods about all over the
palace, and would have made an end of him once for all, if he had
not fled under the protection of Night, whom Jove did not venture to
offend.
Juno bribes him, however, with a promise that if he will consent she
will marry him to the youngest of the Graces, Pasithea. On this he
yields; the pair then go up to the top of Mount Ida, and Sleep gets
into a high pine tree just in front of Jove.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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