“Ve are orphans, vitout bread!” moaned the keeper. “Cut it! Cut it! Cut it open!” screamed Elyòna Ivànovna, hanging on to the German’s coat. “He did teaze ze crocodile; vy your man teaze ze crocodile?” yelled the German, wriggling away; “you vill pay me if Karlchen wird bersten; dass war mein Sohn, dass war mein einziger Sohn!” “Cut it!” shrieked Elyòna Ivànovna. “How! You will dat my crocodile shall be die?” “No, your man shall be die first, and denn my crocodile. Mein Vater show von crocodile, mein Grossvater show von crocodile, mein Sohn shall show von crocodile, and I shall show von crocodile. All ve shall show crocodile. I am ganz Europa famous, and you are not ganz Europa famous, and do be me Straf pay shall!” “Ja, ja!” agreed the woman, savagely; “ve you not let out; Straf ven Karlchen vill berst.” “For that matter,” I put in calmly, in the hope of getting Elyòna Ivànovna home without further ado, “there’s no use in cutting it open, for in all probability our dear Ivan Matvyèich is now soaring in the empyrean....” “My dear,” remarked at this moment the voice of Ivan Matvyèich, with startling suddenness, “my advice, my dear, is to act through the bureau of police, for the German will not comprehend truth without the assistance of the police.” These words, uttered with firmness and gravity, and expressing astonishing presence of mind, at first so much amazed us that we could not believe our ears. Of course, however, we instantly ran to the crocodile’s tank and listened to the speech of the unfortunate captive with a mixture of reverence and distrust. His voice sounded muffled, thin, and even squeaky, as though coming from a long distance. “Ivan Matvyèich, my dearest, and are you then alive?” lisped Elyòna Ivànovna. “Alive and well,” answered Ivan Matvyèich; “and, thanks to the Almighty, swallowed whole without injury. I am only disturbed by doubt as to how the superior authorities will regard this episode; for, after having taken a ticket to go abroad, to go into a crocodile instead is hardly sensible.” “Oh, my dear, don’t worry about sense now; first of all we must somehow or other dig you out,” interrupted Elyòna Ivànovna. “Tig!” cried the German. “I not vill let you to tig ze crocodile! Now shall bery mush _publikum_ be come, and I shall fifety kopeck take, and Karlchen shall leave off to berst.” “Gott sei Dank!” added the mother. “They are right,” calmly remarked Ivan Matvyèich; “the economic principle before everything.” “Dear friend!” I exclaimed; “I will fly at once to the authorities and complain, for I feel convinced that we can’t settle this hash by ourselves.”