"You have written me accounts of your progress and work at the
University, which, on investigation, I find to be simply a tissue
of lies.
"I have had bills for large amounts sent to me during the last few
weeks from tradesmen, saying that they find it impossible to get
any money from you, and that you ignore their communications. You
have had splendid opportunities, a good name, with abilities above
the average, and I believed that you would have done me credit.
Your deceit and cruelty have broken my heart.
"I shall do nothing further for you, and you must make your own
plans for the future.
"I shall not help you in any way.
"Your unhappy
"FATHER."
He got up and had some more brandy, walking about the room. "I knew the
old fool would find out soon. My God, though, it's rather sudden. I
haven't twopence in the world, and the High Church people are beginning
to smell a rat. Damn this collar--it's tight...." He tore it off,
smashing the head of the stud, which rolled under the fender with a
sharp metallic click. After a time he sat down again. The feeling of
ruin was already passing away, and his face lost its sweetness and
youth, while a sharp keen look took its place--the look that he wore
when at night he was alone and plotting, a haggard, old look which no
one ever saw but Condamine or Sturtevant.
He took up the next letter, a small envelope addressed in a girl's
hand:--
"WESTCOTT,
"WOOTON WOODS."
"DEAREST CARADOC,--You cannot think how delighted I was to get
your letter on Saturday. I have been thinking of you a good deal
the last two or three weeks, and wondering why you did not write.
"Had you forgotten all about me? I expect so, but there is some
excuse for you, as you must meet heaps of _pretty_ girls in
Oxford. Do write me a nice long letter soon--a _nice_ letter, you
know.
"Good-bye, dearest--
"Your _very_ loving
"GOODIE.
"P.S.--Excuse scrawl."
The hard, keen expression faded away, his eyes filling with tears, while
the light played caressingly on his face and tumbled hair.
It was his one pure affection, an attachment for a dear little girl of
seventeen, a clergyman's daughter in the country. He thought of the
evening walks in the sweet summer meadows, when the "mellow lin lan lone
of evening bells" ringing for evensong floated over the corn. He
remembered how her hair had touched his face, and how she had whispered
"dearest."
And then the thoughts of all the other women in Oxford and London
came crowding into his brain. The hot kisses, the suppers and
patchouli-scented rooms, the slang and high tinkling laughter. His brow
wrinkled up with pain as he walked up and down the room, filled with a
supreme self-pity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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