"True," said the Idiot. "The only safeguard against that would be to
compel the cook to test every pea before she cooked it. She could
slam them down on the hearth-stone like torpedoes, and every one that
didn't go off could be cooked and served with safety. Still, there would
be danger even then. A careless cook might forever ruin the tooth of a
favored guest. I guess I'd better give up the idea."
"Oh, don't, pa!" cried Tommy, his interest in explosive vegetables
worked up to a high pitch. "I'll test 'em all for you, and if they work
I don't see why you couldn't raise dynamite punkins!"
"It would be a strong temptation, my son," said the Idiot, "which is all
the more reason why I should abandon the plan. A dynamite punkin, as you
call it, would wreck the whole neighborhood if one should set it off
properly. No, we will, after all, confine our attention to vegetables of
a more pacific nature. The others might prove more profitable at first,
but when the novelty of them wore off, and one realized only their
danger, a great deal of the pleasure one derives from eating fresh
vegetables would be utterly destroyed."
Tommy looked out over the railing of the piazza, deep regret and
disappointment depicted in his brown little face; but if the glitter of
his eyes meant anything it meant that the idea of putting vegetables on
a war footing was not going to be allowed to drop into oblivion; and if
the small youth progresses in inventive genius in a fair ratio to his
past achievements in that line, I have no doubt that if a Vesuvian
pumpkin _can_ be produced at all, the day will dawn when Thomas is
hailed as its inventor.
"Is it true," asked Mr. Brief, "that home-raised peas are sweeter than
any other?"
"We think so," said Mrs. Idiot.
"We know so," amended the Idiot. "That Fourth-of-July night when we ate
those five podfuls we discovered that fact. Five podfuls of peas are not
enough to feed a family of four on, so we mixed them in with a few more
that we bought at the grocer's, and we could tell ours from the others
every time, they were so much sweeter."
The Bibliomaniac laughed scornfully.
"Pooh!" said he. "How did you know that they were yours that were sweet,
and not the grocery-bought peas?"
"How does a father know his own children?" said the Idiot. "If you'd
labored over those five pods as hard and assiduously as we did, nursing
them through their infant troubles, guarding them against locusts and
potato-bugs, carefully watching their development from infancy into the
full vigor of a mature peahood, I guess you'd know your own from those
of others. It's instinct, my dear Bibliomaniac."
"Tell about the strawberry, pa," said Tommy, who liked to hear his
father talk, in which respect I fear he takes strongly after his parent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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