"My dear," said the Idiot one morning, as he and his good wife and the
two little ones, Mollie and Tommy, sat down at the breakfast-table, "now
that we are finally settled in our new house I move we celebrate. Let's
give a dinner to my old friends of Mrs. Smithers's; they were nice old
people, and I should like to get them together again. I saw Dr. Pedagog
in the city yesterday, and he inquired most affectionately, not to say
anxiously, about the children."
"Why should he be anxious about the children?" asked Mrs. Idiot,
placidly, as she sweetened her husband's coffee. "Does he suspect them
of lacking completeness or variety?"
The Idiot tapped his forehead significantly.
"He didn't know whether they take after you or after me, but I relieved
his mind on that score," he said. "I told him that they didn't take
after anybody that either of us ever knew. They have started in on a
line of Idiocy that is entirely their own. He seemed very much pleased
when I said that, and observed that he was glad to hear it."
Mrs. Idiot laughed.
"It was very nice of the Doctor to ask about them, but I am a little
afraid he wants to take a hand in their bringing up," she said.
"No doubt of it," said the Idiot. "Pedagog always was anxious to
experiment. Many a time I have suspected him of having designs even on
me."
"Mrs. Pedagog told me last year that he had devised an entirely new
system of home training," observed Mrs. Idiot, "and they both regretted
that they had no children of their own to try it on."
"And of course you offered to lend Tommy to them?" said the Idiot, with
a sly glance at his son, who was stowing away his oatmeal at a rate that
bade fair to create a famine.
"Of course," said Mrs. Idiot. "He's got to get raw material somewhere,
and I thought Tommy would be just the thing."
"Well, I ain't a-goin'," said Tommy, helping himself liberally and for
the third time to the oatmeal.
"My son," said the Idiot, with a mock show of sternness, "if your mother
chooses to lend you to any one it is not for you to say that you 'ain't
a-goin'. It may be that I shall interfere to the extent of demanding to
know what security for your safe return is offered, but otherwise
neither you nor I shall intervene. What your mother says is law for you
as well as for me. Please understand that, Thomas."
"All right, pa," said Tommy; and then he added in an undertone,
presumably to the butter, "But I ain't a-goin', just the same."
"I'll go," said Mollie, who rather liked the idea of being lent to
somebody, since it involved a visit to some strange and therefore
fascinating spot away from home. "Lend me to somebody, will you, mamma?"
"Yes, ma, lend Mollie to 'em," said Tommy, with, a certain dry
enthusiasm, "and then maybe you can borrow a boy from somebody else for
me to play with. I don't see why you don't swap her off for a boy,
anyhow. I like her well enough, but what you ever wanted to buy her for
in the beginning I don't know. Girls isn't any good."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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