"Possibly," assented the Idiot. "And I'll tell you one thing, Pollie,
dear," he added, "if they had had that fun just once, instead of
squandering their savings on clothes and the theatre, and on horses,
you'd find every blessed one of those chaps thronging the hardware shops
all day and spending their money there. Why, do you know I even enjoyed
getting the clothes-pins, and what is more, it was instructive. I never
knew before what countless varieties of clothes-pins there were. There's
the plain kind of commerce that look like a pair of legs with a polo-cap
on. I was brought up on those, and I used to steal them when I was a
small boy, to act as understudies for Noah and Shem and Ham and Japheth
in my Noah's ark. Then there's the patent kind with a spring to it that
is guaranteed to hang onto a garment in a gale if it has to let go of
the rope. Very few people realize the infinite variety of the
clothes-pin, and when I try to tell these chaps at the club about it
they yawn and try to change the subject to things like German opera and
impressionism and international complications."
"How foolish of them!" laughed Mrs. Idiot. "The idea of preferring to
talk of Wagner when one can discourse upon clothes-pins!"
"I am afraid you are sarcastic," rejoined the Idiot. "But you needn't
be; if you'd only reason it out you'd see at once that my view is
correct. Anybody can talk about Wagner. Any person who knows a picture
from a cable-car can talk with seeming intelligence on art, and even a
member of Congress can talk about international complications off-hand
for hours; but how many of these people know about clothes-pins?"
"Very few," said Mrs. Idiot, meekly.
"Very few, indeed," observed the Idiot. "And the same way with
egg-beaters. I'll bet you a laundry-stove that if I should write to the
_Recorder_ to-morrow morning, and ask a question about Wagner, the
musical editor would give me an answer within twenty-four hours; but
with reference to egg-beaters it would take 'em a week to find out. And
that's just the trouble. The newspapers are filled up with stuff that
everybody knows about, but they don't know a thing about other things on
the subject of which the public is ignorant."
"I think," said Mrs. Idiot, reflectively, "that that is probably due to
the fact that they consider Wagner more important than an egg-beater."
[Illustration: "'AND SOME PEOPLE SAY WAGNER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
THAT'"]
"Well, then, they don't know, that's all," rejoined the Idiot, rising
and walking out into the kitchen and taking the fascinating object over
which he was waxing so enthusiastic from the dresser drawer. "Just look
at that!" he cried, turning the cog-wheel which set the three
intersecting metal loops whizzing like a squirrel in its wheel-cage.
"Just look at that! It's beautiful, and some people say Wagner is more
important than that."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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