The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
It was by not following this simple plan that poor Jean Jacques Rousseau
came to such grief. He fixed the summit of his earthly bliss at living
in an orchard with an amiable woman and a cow, and he never attained
even that. He did get as far as the orchard, but the woman was not
amiable, and she brought her mother with her, and there was no cow. Now,
if he had made up his mind for a large country estate, a houseful of
angels, and a cattle-show, he might have lived to possess his kitchen
garden and one head of live-stock, and even possibly have come across
that _rara-avis_--a really amiable woman.
What a terribly dull affair, too, life must be for contented people!
How heavy the time must hang upon their hands, and what on earth do they
occupy their thoughts with, supposing that they have any? Reading the
paper and smoking seems to be the intellectual food of the majority
of them, to which the more energetic add playing the flute and talking
about the affairs of the next-door neighbor.
They never knew the excitement of expectation nor the stern delight of
accomplished effort, such as stir the pulse of the man who has objects,
and hopes, and plans. To the ambitious man life is a brilliant game--a
game that calls forth all his tact and energy and nerve--a game to be
won, in the long run, by the quick eye and the steady hand, and yet
having sufficient chance about its working out to give it all the
glorious zest of uncertainty. He exults in it as the strong swimmer in
the heaving billows, as the athlete in the wrestle, the soldier in the
battle.
And if he be defeated he wins the grim joy of fighting; if he lose the
race, he, at least, has had a run. Better to work and fail than to sleep
one's life away.
So, walk up, walk up, walk up. Walk up, ladies and gentlemen! walk up,
boys and girls! Show your skill and try your strength; brave your luck
and prove your pluck. Walk up! The show is never closed and the game is
always going. The only genuine sport in all the fair, gentlemen--highly
respectable and strictly moral--patronized by the nobility, clergy, and
gentry. Established in the year one, gentlemen, and been flourishing
ever since--walk up! Walk up, ladies and gentlemen, and take a hand.
There are prizes for all and all can play. There is gold for the man and
fame for the boy; rank for the maiden and pleasure for the fool. So walk
up, ladies and gentlemen, walk up!--all prizes and no blanks; for some
few win, and as to the rest, why--
"The rapture of pursuing
Is the prize the vanquished gain."
ON THE WEATHER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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