The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
I like to sit and have a talk sometimes with that odd little chap that
was myself long ago. I think he likes it too, for he comes so often of
an evening when I am alone with my pipe, listening to the whispering
of the flames. I see his solemn little face looking at me through the
scented smoke as it floats upward, and I smile at him; and he smiles
back at me, but his is such a grave, old-fashioned smile. We chat about
old times; and now and then he takes me by the hand, and then we slip
through the black bars of the grate and down the dusky glowing caves
to the land that lies behind the firelight. There we find the days that
used to be, and we wander along them together. He tells me as we walk
all he thinks and feels. I laugh at him now and then, but the next
moment I wish I had not, for he looks so grave I am ashamed of being
frivolous. Besides, it is not showing proper respect to one so much
older than myself--to one who was myself so very long before I became
myself.
We don't talk much at first, but look at one another; I down at his
curly hair and little blue bow, he up sideways at me as he trots. And
some-how I fancy the shy, round eyes do not altogether approve of me,
and he heaves a little sigh, as though he were disappointed. But after
awhile his bashfulness wears off and he begins to chat. He tells me
his favorite fairy-tales, he can do up to six times, and he has a
guinea-pig, and pa says fairy-tales ain't true; and isn't it a pity?
'cos he would so like to be a knight and fight a dragon and marry a
beautiful princess. But he takes a more practical view of life when he
reaches seven, and would prefer to grow up be a bargee, and earn a lot
of money. Maybe this is the consequence of falling in love, which he
does about this time with the young lady at the milk shop aet. six. (God
bless her little ever-dancing feet, whatever size they may be now!)
He must be very fond of her, for he gives her one day his chiefest
treasure, to wit, a huge pocket-knife with four rusty blades and a
corkscrew, which latter has a knack of working itself out in some
mysterious manner and sticking into its owner's leg. She is an
affectionate little thing, and she throws her arms round his neck and
kisses him for it, then and there, outside the shop. But the stupid
world (in the person of the boy at the cigar emporium next door) jeers
at such tokens of love. Whereupon my young friend very properly prepares
to punch the head of the boy at the cigar emporium next door; but fails
in the attempt, the boy at the cigar emporium next door punching his
instead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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