Count Albert was seated in the orchestra stalls with his mother. The
Countess Styvens, widowed after five years, had bestowed upon her son
all the affection she had cherished for her husband. She had never
left him, but had had him educated under her own supervision, giving
him at the age of nine, as tutor, a Jesuit who was one of the most
austere, if also one of the most learned, of the Order. The young man
was a perfect pupil, studious, ever disdaining the pleasures of his
age. His childhood passed in the grey and pious atmosphere in which
his mother steeped herself. His youth developed under the rule of his
preceptor, a pale youth, without laughter, without aspirations. The
physicians had never been able to persuade the Countess to let her son
have the joy of travel of sea and mountain, so he had to be satisfied
with the physical exercises she permitted. So he gave himself up to
gymnastics with enthusiasm, expending his youthful vigour against his
drill professor, and the Japanese who taught him jiu-jitsu. The boy's
strength became quite remarkable. But his pale face, disproportionately
long arms, and reputation for austerity, had made him the mark, from
the very first days of his diplomatic career, for the gossips, ballad
makers, and authors of questionable cabaret skits.
The day he heard that he was serving as Turk's head in a Brussels
music-hall, he went instantly behind the scenes of the theatre and
demanded to see the Director, who was in conversation with the author
of the piece. He went right up to them. "I," he said, raising his hat
politely, "am Count Albert Styvens. I shall be very glad to have you
suppress the scene, which, I understand, is intended to caricature
me."
The Manager, a prosperous brewer, who had become proprietor of a
theatre for the pleasure of producing revues, which if not witty were
certainly vulgar, shrugged his heavy shoulders.
"You expect me to lose money! That act is one of the best we have
got."
"And you, sir?" Albert turned on the author, a man of doubtful
reputation, always on the alert for any occasion of scandal in others.
"Oh! of course I am sorry to offend you, but I can't take off the
piece."
The last word was not out of his mouth when the Count grabbed both of
them by the napes of their necks and knocked their heads together till
the blood spurted from their surprised faces. Their cries were heard
even by the audience. Reporters came running to witness this unbilled
spectacle. The stage hands tried to free the Manager, but desisted
when one received a terrible smash from the Count's fist, and another
a kick that sent him through space. When the two men were reduced to
rags, Albert held them upright and addressed them:
"I am going into the hall to see the show. I advise you to withdraw
the scene we spoke of and to which I object."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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